Hi Jonathan,
You sound exactly how I feel! I was released from prison exactly 3 years ago and recalled after 5 months before being released again after 7 months. So I've now been out 2 years and I feel like I have got no closer to 'being free'. I often refer to still being in a prison. It's hard to see it any other way as no matter what you do you just don't seem to be allowed to move on.
When I was first released, my main probation officer was in a different area than I was so I had a caretaker probation officer who worked with me on her behalf. The caretaker was ok but not really helpful and the main one was completely useless! So I didn't get much support in order to try to rebuild my life. There was also a couple of people at the job centre who specifically worked with ex-offenders to help them find suitable work. Then once I got out the last time, probation was rubbish still and to top it off, the job centre got rid of the sector that helped ex-offenders. This means that we are treated the same as every other 'customer' when the reality is, we are far from!
As for housing..... wow. Just no chance really. I was released to an approved premises hostel and getting a property to move on was extremely difficult! There are so many barriers to housing as well as jobs that you feel like there is no point in even being alive! My case worker in the hostel (who really was just an amazing woman in general) managed to get a landlord to let a room to me. The room was ok, the house was horrible and the garden was literally piled up with rubbish bags that stunk the whole house out! But I took it because I knew that I was 'lucky' to have the opportunity to get on with my life. So things at this time was looking more positive (just needed to demolish that wall into employment)... then, it was posted on the internet what area i was in, details of my offence (some inaccurate may I add!) And my photo. I no longer felt safe in shared accommodation and I left the area for a while. I only went back because I am in a relationship and my partner lives in that area. But it meant that as well as no job still, I now had no accommodation again. All of this of course puts a strain on my relationship too. Everything has a knock-on effect and never seems to balance out and get better.
I managed to get a job at a warehouse, which I knew was pure fluke, but after a week my partner and I had an argument and I had to move out. I don't drive and couldn't get back to the job from where I was, so I had to leave it! We are back together but now I'm jobless again.... And I recently was informed by an agency that I was with for 7-8 months (despite being honest and disclosing my conviction when signing up with them) that due to my conviction they can not offer any jobs to me! I contacted them several times in those months and not once did they say anything! I am livid!
And after all the hassle I've experienced, I have now hit rock bottom. I am now in a situation where, I can't live with my partner until I have a job because it's not fair on her (or myself even) that she has to support me as well as herself and her flat. I am now living in the area where I was convicted (definitely feels like a prison as I can't leave my mum's house without fear of being seen), so I can't get a job around here, don't drive so can't really work outside of the town either. Jib centre is threatening to sanction me if I don't apply for jobs (but like myself, he doesn't know where I can work, what jobs I can go for, what help I can get... but I'm expected to know?!)... the way I see it, there is only 2 options for me. Prostitute myself or end it all.