theForum

Open letter to a journalist


https://forum.unlock.org.uk/Topic29010.aspx

By punter99 - 1 Oct 20 10:47 AM

I've reprinted this letter, which I came across, on another forum. It's written by the partner of an offender and it's very good. It was described as an open letter and published on a website that is open, for any member of the public to read, so I don't feel like I am compromising anyone's privacy by reprinting it here.

"Dear Journalist,

It will just be another day for you. Sitting in the courtroom, listening to the details of yet another indecent images case. Yet another, because in recent years, you have noticed that there are a lot more of these cases coming through the courts. Perhaps you have thought about that. Perhaps not.

When you get back to your desk, as your fingers hover over the keyboard, you can decide which socially taboo label to use as a headline grabber. You have the power to decide the angle of the story and the impact it will have. And quite rightly, where children are involved in crimes, there is a visceral reaction from the public.

What you won't see on that day, after you submit your story to the editor, will be the lasting impact that it will have on my children. The impact that it has already had, as their worlds have been turned upside down this year. Firstly, by the arrival of the police: 'The Knock' as it is commonly known. Secondly, by the restrictions placed upon the family by social services, and their father not being allowed to be as present in their lives. Thirdly, by the misery and sadness suddenly permeating the household. And fourthly, the fear of the media reporting the case and stigmatising them, by default. What the people sharing the story online won't see, is that every time it is shared, my children are stigmatized further.

In fact, the oldest child has already spent two nights in hospital, suicidal, due to the changes in our lives caused by the interventions of various agencies, and is currently experiencing the all-consuming fear of what lies ahead with press reporting, and how to possibly be able to navigate the path ahead, the path of public shame and vitriol. It shouldn't be something that a child should have to worry about.

As I type, I am between packing up boxes of our possessions. My children and I are effectively going into hiding. Plagued by fear of reporting of the court appearances ahead. Not knowing whether we can return to our home town safely, whether we might need to change our (rare) surname. The children like their name. It's part of their identity and they are rather attached to it. They won't be joining their friends and starting back at school this term (one at primary, one at secondary- huge rites of passage, missed) in fear of the press reports and what lies ahead.

Now you might shake your head and say, well these offenders should know what all of this does. They should realise that they are putting their own children at risk from the fallout and it's the offender's problem not mine. I am here to report the news and if I don't do so then we don't have a free press. They should have known they would lose everything. Absolutely! A point on which we agree. Offenders should take responsibility for the vast impact of their actions upon their relatives. For the harm that is caused to children in viewing this hideous material. For breaking the law and looking at things that should never be looked at, or searched for. Surely they must have known that it would come to this?

What if, however, the 'hung, drawn and quartered' approach to reporting of people accused or convicted of viewing indecent images isn't actually helping the cause? What if it isn't actually acting as a deterrent? (and evidence strongly points toward the fact that it isn't, with cases growing and growing). What if the reporting is not deterring the crime, and instead, is actually harming the relatives and children of offenders by ostracizing them from society?

Public awareness of these crimes is low. The terminology doesn't help: 'making' an image is almost always interpreted by readers as someone having created an image. A quick look at the comments section on any news report will bear this out. Why does this matter? Because perhaps if people realise the truth it might prevent at least some of the crimes (I am not naive enough to think that it would deter all!). What if people realised that 'making' an image can occur when an image is viewed? (as the cache makes a copy), or even when an image is searched for? Or when a link is clicked on? Perhaps better education around the actual offences might make people think twice. And surely that would be a good thing. It would actually protect those children who have their lives ruined by having featured in this vile material.

I didn't have a clue until learning more from these forums and from Lucy Faithfull and indeed the police (who informed me of the large amount of legal adult material that they discovered) that watching legal adult material can become an addiction and can lead otherwise law-abiding people down a dark and deviant path of destruction. Why didn't I know about this? Why didn't I know the signs of internet addiction, in the person who is closest to me in the world?? I understand that legal adult material is completely unregulated online. It should not be possible that legal material provides links to horrific and deviant material. But it can and does.
Perhaps you could use your platform to call out the tech companies, the ones who are not held to account (as yet, no regulator exists). Perhaps someone can attempt to discover why it is that advertisers will withdraw from a platform who carries fake news, yet they don't back out when it's reported that the same platform allowed for over 50% of child grooming cases to occur on its watch.

Will the Online Harms Bill ever get done?

I read that there are 70 MILLION or so indecent images out there online, with the same number of searches for indecent material being blocked by the Internet Watch Foundation in April this year in the UK alone! I have also read an estimate that 100,000 people a year are viewing this vile deviant material. Why? How is this allowed?

I think perhaps that we have the same goals in mind. I, like you, would like for the truth to be told, and to create a shockwave in society, ultimately with the goal of protecting children from these awful crimes, and protecting the 'secondary victims' (a term used by Professor Belinda Winder) who are dragged into this, simply by being related to an offender.

I feel that the way to do this has to change. There has to be more public awareness around what constitutes a crime. There has to be more consideration as to when and how these crimes are reported in the press. And there has to be a call for the tech giants to do their part and also to help to educate the public around the gross perils of the internet. Where are the people who are creating this content? I very rarely read about these people being brought to justice. I barely ever read about the child victims being found.

So, if you sit in the courtroom on the day, please think of my children too.

As I sit in the hallway, staring at the boxes, I don't know what our future holds. Can we return to our home? Do we have to run away? Do we keep running forever? Change our identity?

Please think of a better way that we can achieve our goals without throwing these young people and families into the lion's den, by association. There must be a different way than this, surely.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my request,

Best wishes"
By JASB - 15 Dec 20 1:59 PM

Was - 14 Dec 20 12:04 AM
As always we should all come here to listen and offer support to others and not judge; especially as we will never know all the facts.


Absolutely. The temptation by myself to try to mitigate my offence by asserting that it was a pseudo-image (i.e. a fake) and there was "no victim" would be wrong. It was against the law and I have no more right to claim a lesser crime than any other.

This is a site for people who have ****ed up but have no intention of repeating their offences. Trying to create a scale of guilt helps no-one. Support in helping people recover from their actions is why I come here, not to make myself feel better that there are "worse villains than I" out there. 

Praise worthy words.

An excellent post.

Remember that old religions believed forgiveness only came from "self flagellation" but all that did was create a repressed society.
 
When reading your posts I always believe you do not write with that intention and so I hope you continue to remember the positiveness you have found in 
Self Belief not self flagellation