As a recovering addict myself from porn and narcotics and speaking to many other addicts of different backgrounds and usage history, the only thing i can confirm in all honesty is, addiction is real whether that be behavioural or substance.

I know many people who have had terrible childhoods, equally others who have grown up with everything they need, family, support, material things, friends etc.

for me, using porn initially was out of curiosity until it became necessity at the expense of other more meaningful things in life, however cocaine was offered to me when i was in an already vulnerable state having to deal with my mother dying from breast cancer but at the same time not feeling able to talk about it and 'putting on a brave face' inside i was crumbling though and narcotics seemed like a welcome escape until that very thing became the thing i wanted to escape from.

I know i am an addict that is just part of how my brain works, today i've learned to see it as a positive in that it carries over to things like my career, whereby i surround myself with everything to do with construction, constantly learning, perusing the screwfix catalogue and fantasising about the next power tool i want to buy. All this behaviour has been re-routed but it needs constant work, which is why i attend 12 step meetings.

There is also a lot of truth in the statement 'the opposite of addiction is connection' So when we become emotionally isolated, certain needs aren't being met such as companionship, love, sense of purpose, intimacy etc. It can often lead to trying to find a substance misuse approach to try and make us freel better or we turn to other behaviours such as watching too  much porn. the initial pleasure is soon lost during the come down when we have to face reality again. I have found that much of recovery is about learning to deal with life on lifes terms. understanding your emotions and being able to have a positive outlet such as being able to share stuff with people in confidence.

For anyone out there struggling with addiction or poor coping behaviours, please don't give up. Despite all the naysayers there are people out there who want to help and who will love you until you can learn to love yourself.