By Anxious Dad - 11 Aug 22 12:56 PM
Hi there,
I'm not gonna give my life story or indeed a detailed account of the last 1,576 days since the police raided my home in April 2018. Suffice to say, it has been and still is, hellish.
A brief summary would be:
April 2018 - Police raid home, I leave home voluntarily and have not resided with my family since
January 2020 - Get 16 month Custodial sentence for Indecent Images, serve 8 months, released on extended license for 12 months
August 2022 - Still not living at home, see my kids every day but cannot stay at home
There would be about another hundred entries on that list to cover all the events in between but that's the crux of it.
At the moment we have had Local Authority (Children's Services and social worker) involvement for all of those 1,576 days (4 years, 4 months).
They move goalposts constantly and require duplicate 'work' to be done for me and my wife over those 4 years, in the form of courses and assessments. it seems unless the reports support their current thinking of my level of risk, they keep doubling down until they spot some negatives and then focus on them. It's now gotten to the point where they are forcing us to tell our Daughter why their Daddy can't stay at home or be in a room alone with her, when previously this was not a requirement. The list goes on.
Although I have never committed a contact offence and no evidence I ever would or have, and my SHPO not enforcing anything to do with contact regarding ANY children, never mind my own, it seems we are all judged for a contact crime regardless. I can see no difference in how I am treated vs. how an actual paedophile is treated.
We made it clear all we wanted was to be reunited as a family. We understand things can never be 'normal' again but we desperately wanted to try and so we have been more than compliant for all of those years, only to be in a position all this time later that is worse than it was back then. Despite no rule-breaking from either of us regarding my visits, multiple intrusive assessments, core group meetings, me going to jail, Probation and extended license duration being fine etc. They have now said they think I am too high risk to allow me to move back in, despite no events.
I sincerely believe they thought my wife would leave me during this period and make that goal a non-issue anyway, as they have all made this as difficult as possible to achieve and constantly knocked us down even when we thought we couldn't get lower.
I've managed to be employed since released from prison and stayed squeaky clean and in employment, even though I had to turn down multiple job offers because of the police threatening disclosure and placing draconian demands on the work computer equipment i might have been using if employed by them. Despite all that I managed to set my own company up and be employed freelance on my own equipment and got around the need for Professional Indemnity insurance (which I could NOT get and most companies require you to have). So many obstacles overcome, not to mention our mental health issues due to the life we are having to lead (Anxiety, Depression etc), trying to raise 2 kids (3 and 8 now) and shield them from my mistakes, and not wallow in shame and self pity.
Here was me saying I wouldn't give you all the details...ahemm. Well, that's still only a synopsis really.
Anyway, I guess my questions are in regards to the SOMU involvement (PPU) with myself.
I am always accommodating and open with them and went to a recent interview with one of their Polygraph experts where I was asked to voluntarily participate in a lie detector test, which I said I would not do, but am more than willing to do the interview. They subsequently made a report based on that and I believe it contributed negatively to my assessment and therefore influenced the decision by the LA to not allow me to return home.
I explained rationally and calmly why I would not participate in the actual polygraph but of course everybody involved with my case would have an initial response of "Why would he refuse the polygraph if he had nothing to hide? See, we are right to doubt him..."
In a sense I played into their hands but I have always wholeheartedly disagreed with polygraphs on many levels, way before me taking one was ever a possibility. They are simply way too unreliable, especially if you are telling the truth. If they are 80 - 90% reliable, as they claim they are then that still means that 1 or 2 out of every 10 people doing one will potentially be described as liars with very serious potential consequences because of it. However, if I was found not to be lying it's not as if they will all change their opinions of my risk and suddenly say good things about me. I had everything to risk and nothing to gain, but I guess unless your entire family's future is on a knife edge for over 4 years, you wouldn't understand or agree with that logic, as they clearly didn't.
I am unclear as to my PPU officers obligations towards me and would appreciate some guidance on this if possible please?
Recently they came to do their forensic check-up on my equipment and at the end I asked if everything was fine and was told it was. Two weeks later I am in a very important meeting about my family's future with my wife, Social Worker, Social Worker manager and both of our solicitors when they decided to add that when police did a visit recently some stuff was 'flagged'. Not illegal and not requiring any action at all but a very vague mention of normal pornographic material that might be seen as not appropriate for someone such as myself to look at. I was fuming as I was told nothing was wrong by the PPU officer and again I think this was an attempt to further shame and belittle me and shock my wife into doubting me.
I emailed my PPU officer afterwards, asking for an explanation of this and she never got back to me.
Does she have a responsibility to flag these things with me that she will share in a meeting like that?
Can PPU enforce that any work equipment I use (that is not my personal equipment) has to be monitored? Can they demand that if the company is not totally secured using VPN's then I can't work for them without monitoring software installed or disclosure to them made?
There is nothing in my SHPO about this either, other than my personal equipment being monitored.
Should I go above my PPU officer to get these rules stated formally to me, as i think if I'm to be monitored and managed by them for another 8 years then I need to know what's going on and what my rights are and are not?
I'm sorry for the rambling. I don't ever talk about this to anyone and I guess once I started I couldn't hold back!!
Thanks for any insight you can give.
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By Was - 29 Aug 22 7:29 PM
+xThis is another example, of decisions about risk, being made on the basis of suspicion, not evidence. The problem is that to overturn the social workers decision, you often have to go through the courts. Once a judge looks at it, they often decide the suspicions are baseless, but by that time, it could be years later and you have missed the chance to be with your kids.
Ultimately this is how it works. SHPOs are court orders. Only a judge's interpretation is valid. Not the police's. Not probation's. Not social services'. There were many things in mine that the police were clearly overstepping the mark with and acting under what is called "under colour of law". However, my only relief was to call their bluff, have them arrest me and then have it thrown out in court. I chose not to. It doesn't mean that the police and social services are correct, but the personal cost may be too much to go through with. Only an individual can make that decision based on their own personal circumstances.
There's an old Chinese proverb. “The bamboo that bends is stronger than the oak that resists.”
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