By PTSDUK - 17 Dec 15 12:24 PM
Long story short. I was arrested for smacking my daughter after she reported me to her school. She was being cheeky and back chatting so l smacked her on her legs. Two weeks later lm visited by social services and the local police. I'm arrested for a s39 assualt.
Wife wanted mediation then refused. So l am left to accept a simple caution. Problem is that I work for the police and have been told that there's a 95% chance l will lose my job.
I shouldn't have smacked her l know that, but l now face the prospect of losing my home, job and family because of one silly mistake.
What are my options going forward regarding employment?
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By Square - 27 May 15 6:16 PM
It was a silly mistake and one that would not have been treated so harshly 10 years ago... but times have changed.
Anything involving a child will be treated 'fully'. If it went to court I can't see you winning... even looking at a child in the wrong way these days gets you convicted. This being said find a good solicitor (one with experience with child issues) and get there advice - they will know exactly what is what.
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By Deb S - 16 Sep 11 1:36 PM
Hi
Not sure that we can comment on how the police will deal with this. A 95% chance of losing your job sounds extremely harsh especially as you have previously had a 'clean' record. It would be good to think that the police would take a sensible view, hear your side of the story and consider how realistically, this could impact on your work. Sadly, common sense does not always prevail.
If you were sacked, then you should not loose sight of the vast amount of skills, knowledge and experience that you have which you could use in other roles. As you may be aware, a simple caution becomes spent immediately under the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act and you would not therefore need to disclose it for the majority of jobs.
Currently, you would need to disclose this caution for any role which involved working with children or vulnerable adults and necessitated a standard or enhanced criminal record check. However, S39 cautions are eligible for filtering after a period of 6 years. From then, you would no longer need to disclose for these types of job either.
I really hope that things work out well for you. If you require any further help, feel free to contact the Unlock Helpline.
Best wishes
Need Unlock's advice? Visit our self-help information site or contact our helpline
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By PTSDUK - 17 Dec 15 12:24 PM
Thanks for your replies. Well l did lose my job over this, my house and my family. I'm now waiting in family court as my wife took out a non molestation order against me at Xmas.
Not seeing my children at all over Xmas has been really hard. Things are really bleak at the moment. All l can see is dark clouds
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By Square - 27 May 15 6:16 PM
PTSDUK, yep things are pretty bad right now but you must remember that they could be so much worse and they will get better. My circumstances are different, but I was in a very bad place and it has gotten better.
Take each day as it comes and if you can find something to look forward to. You also need to find something to do - if you are a member of a gym I'd recommend going for a couple of hours every day. The exercise does amazing things with hormones and does make you feel better.
If you are struggling with your thoughts and feelings there are many places you can turn to for a chat - Samaritans etc.
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By doug - 10 Jul 14 4:57 PM
I sympathise with where you are.
3 years ago I was in the same position as you, lost job, wife and home. It was a hard time but I did have a small network of people I could go to, who listened and supported me.
I suffered from depression and through the doctor I was refereed to a councillor, which did help.
3 years later I now have a job and moved on with a new life. It's not the life I wanted for myself, but I have to accept that and move forward, which I am doing and enjoying my new life.
I hope you have friends you can go to and if you are feeling depressed, then it may be worth going to your doctor and being referred to a councillor.
Good luck.
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By PTSDUK - 17 Dec 15 12:24 PM
Thanks for your replies guys. I hear what your saying, part of me still loves her. We went to family court and the non molestation order was issued ex-partie, based on her evidence alone. I paid £200 for a 3 minute hearing to say that l would be contesting the order. What amazes me is that a court can issue an order that is based one side only. apparently she has been speaking to experts who have convinced her that she has been a victim of domestic violence for years. Although in all these years, she has controlled all the money, bills, police or social services have never been called to our door, and l have only been arrested once in my entire life.
Do l carry on fighting or what?
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By JohnL - 10 Sep 15 1:13 PM
Never stop fighting PTSDUK, it's your fundamental right to get a fair hearing, which it sounds like you didn't seeing as court orders have been issued on her evidence alone.
Do you have legal representation still? If so, get their advice. I'd suggest looking at getting a psychiatrists report on yourself which you can share with the court if/when you appeal the order, as this will add to your professional evidence and mean you're not just relying on your own word.
Have you looked at the appeal process at work? If also get hold, if you can, of the disciplinary policy - did they follow everything to the T? If they didn't, you can appeal and then file a grievance for (potentially) unfair dismissal if they haven't behaved properly.
Without wanting to probe too much, was your police job front line or were you working in an office with no public contact?
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By PTSDUK - 17 Dec 15 12:24 PM
Hi l was a PCSO front line, choice was resign with a reference or fight it, get sacked no reference and little chance of getting another job. At times l wish l had be successful at the suicide
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By AT - 4 Sep 11 6:51 AM
PTSDUK I am sorry to hear of your situation. I would strongly recommend that you talk to Samaritans.
5 years ago I was in your position (albeit entirely different situation) you need to fight the status quo and your thoughts without which you will spiral into abyss.
Please do contact them (Samaritans). I have been a member of this forum for over 5 years and your last post (and lack of response to it since yesterday) has really touched me. Please do let us know how you are progressing.
But screw your courage to the sticking place, And we'll not fail.
AT
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By Square - 27 May 15 6:16 PM
Do you keep fighting? that is one heck of a question! You will be facing many fights over the coming months and years. You should never give up is the only advice I can really offer. After my conviction I did give up with my legal battle simply because I couldn't do it with the mental state I was in... I wish I did keep fighting on that front now though. But if I did I don't know if I'd still be around (it was that bad!)
I have faced many fights since. I have fought continuously against depression. My name appeared in the press, so going out (and I mean beyond the front door) was a battle. getting a job was a hell of a fight. Facing friends and family - that was hard. Trying to get car insurance was another fight.
My point is that you are going to need to keep fighting. It does get better, and you will learn to deal with many of the issues associated with what has happened. Whether you continue to fight your legal battle will depend on you.... and the advice of a very good solicitor.
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By Square - 27 May 15 6:16 PM
PTSD - You need to remove specific information ASAP. This will not help you.
Yes - it all sucks right now, but you need to think of it as a long, dark tunnel. It is scary, but there is a light at the end of it all. The thing is that it is so far away and small you cant see it too well right now. You need to talk to someone, the number for the Samaritans is 116 123 - you should call them. Tomorrow at 9 am call your GP and make an appointment and tell them how you feel.
What made a massive difference to me was really bad old comedy DVD's - Hi De Hi, Allo Allo and the likes. It was escapism and did help me smile in the worst of times.
It would be wrong of me to comment on your case as I do not know you and I am not a solicitor... but I do really hope that you are OK and take my advice. Remove that last post, call the Samaratins just for a chat (they will listen) and call your GP in the morning.
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By doug - 10 Jul 14 4:57 PM
I would agree with Square, whilst the tunnel may appear long, there is a light at the end of it.
As I said above, I was referred to a councillor, who was good and listened. Sometimes that is all you need, someone to listen so you can get things off your chest.
So whether you go to the Samaritans or a councillor, it is good to talk.
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By Square - 27 May 15 6:16 PM
PTSD - how are you doing?
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