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What words of wisdom, encouragement, advice or information do you wish you'd had?


What words of wisdom, encouragement, advice or information do you wish...

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Pumpkin
Pumpkin
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Hey everyone happy afternoon!

I think we may all be at different stages of moving on with our lives and the idea came to me that there might be a wealth of experience out there that could be able to help others on their own journey.

For me, I wish that I had someone tell me that I didn't have to be punished for the rest of my life and that had a right move on, start fresh and become the best that I can be.
Hola
Hola
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Pumpkin - 30 Mar 17 4:56 PM
Hey everyone happy afternoon!I think we may all be at different stages of moving on with our lives and the idea came to me that there might be a wealth of experience out there that could be able to help others on their own journey.For me, I wish that I had someone tell me that I didn't have to be punished for the rest of my life and that had a right move on, start fresh and become the best that I can be.

I think the main thing is developing self confidence.  Act like no-one knows and live that.  And go self-employed as unless you're in a ' sensitive ' role nobody will ask for DBS checks and you can therefore get meaningful employment

CC
CC
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Hola - 30 Mar 17 9:32 PM
Pumpkin - 30 Mar 17 4:56 PM
Hey everyone happy afternoon!I think we may all be at different stages of moving on with our lives and the idea came to me that there might be a wealth of experience out there that could be able to help others on their own journey.For me, I wish that I had someone tell me that I didn't have to be punished for the rest of my life and that had a right move on, start fresh and become the best that I can be.

I think the main thing is developing self confidence.  Act like no-one knows and live that.  And go self-employed as unless you're in a ' sensitive ' role nobody will ask for DBS checks and you can therefore get meaningful employment

Hi Hola, couldn't agree more. People dont really want to be around a "closed" person even when that person desperately needs company. Self confidence has definitely helped me and being my own boss is the best thing ever. I gave up beating myself up over my offence and dont look back too often other than to appreciate what I have achieved now. I told a friend about it a few years ago and he responded by saying my forthrightness engendered mutual trust. The way I look at it is if someone who lived in a house/flat, never came out, never spoke to any one in the street never drew back the curtains and just occasionally peeped through them, then everyone else in the street would be suspicious of them and that person would never gain any trust. I try not to be that person and it works for me.

Dazzie
Dazzie
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Hi Guys

I'd agree with everything that Hola and CC have said.  In some ways, once I'd got over actually being convicted, the worst part was the loss of self-confidence. I didn't notice it at first probably because I was around a lot of people in a similar situation to myself.

It's now 6 years since my conviction and I can honestly say that its only been in the last year that I've started to really get back some of the confidence I had pre-conviction. A lot of it has come from meeting a new partner and disclosing to them. They didn't run a mile just reassured me that I was a different person now. Since then I've started to feel that I do have a place in the world. My conviction's in the past and is only a small part of the person I am. After I got my conviction I was pretty paranoid. I had a job and disclosed to my Line Manager and as much as I was sure he'd keep the info to himself, everytime one of my work colleagues was a bit blunt of 'off' with me I assumed they knew about my past (it was almost always cos they'd had a row with the kids or the Mrs).   As much as you want to protect yourself and not give people the chance to judge you, as CC says it's easy to make people suspicious of you by your own actions.

You don't have to be punished for the rest of your life but in my case, I had to come to terms myself with what I'd done. Once I'd done that, it was a bit easier to let other's in and start living again.

It's great to have a place such as this where you can see the journey's that other people have taken and realise that anything is possible.

Good luck 


   
CC
CC
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Dazzie - 31 Mar 17 8:35 AM
Hi Guys

I'd agree with everything that Hola and CC have said.  In some ways, once I'd got over actually being convicted, the worst part was the loss of self-confidence. I didn't notice it at first probably because I was around a lot of people in a similar situation to myself.

It's now 6 years since my conviction and I can honestly say that its only been in the last year that I've started to really get back some of the confidence I had pre-conviction. A lot of it has come from meeting a new partner and disclosing to them. They didn't run a mile just reassured me that I was a different person now. Since then I've started to feel that I do have a place in the world. My conviction's in the past and is only a small part of the person I am. After I got my conviction I was pretty paranoid. I had a job and disclosed to my Line Manager and as much as I was sure he'd keep the info to himself, everytime one of my work colleagues was a bit blunt of 'off' with me I assumed they knew about my past (it was almost always cos they'd had a row with the kids or the Mrs).   As much as you want to protect yourself and not give people the chance to judge you, as CC says it's easy to make people suspicious of you by your own actions.

You don't have to be punished for the rest of your life but in my case, I had to come to terms myself with what I'd done. Once I'd done that, it was a bit easier to let other's in and start living again.

It's great to have a place such as this where you can see the journey's that other people have taken and realise that anything is possible.

Good luck 


   

I have to add I was watching an old `ish episode of QI on Dave when Stephen Fry just dropped it into the conversation that he spent a few months in prison for credit card fraud "polishing corridors"  and no one batted an eye lid. There is a guy who has a popular TV show who isn't afraid to talk about his mistakes and still is on the TV. Good on him.
Pumpkin
Pumpkin
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Really enjoyed reading this back and am liking the contributions. Thank you for your input.
GO


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