Hi everyone,

Long listener, first time caller.

I'm not really sure how to introduce myself but lets start with the offence, I guess.

I'm currently awaiting sentencing for possession of indecent images and the whole thing has just thrown my life upside down and really does show you who your true friends are and the horrible conditioning of the great British public (or Scottish public, to be more apt).

I have no idea the outcome if I'm looking at a prison sentence. If it helps; I was found to have around 270 images (6 of which were videos totaling around 15 minutes in combined length) around 1/3 of which were Category A. In the report these images were only "created" on my HDD on one day and were in an inaccessible portion of my HDD. The police (CPS?) confirmed they hadn't been accessed and appeared to have come down via a torrent I was downloading at the time. My solicitor can't even believe it even got to court.

This eventually hit a local paper last week and my life has now obviously shot to pieces with people putting me in the same bracket as Jimmy Savile et al. - This was furthered when a local Facebook vigilante group managed to somehow get a personal picture of me (no idea how, I don't have social media) and plastered me up for the world to see - When my friends saw it they let me see the mess too.

I did plead guilty to possession off the recommendation from my solicitor and on that diet hearing was the day the papers found out and of course made me out to be some kind of wild beast roaming the streets looking to snatch children like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang or something. This has obviously led to me being suspended from work for their own investigation to see about the future of my employment - However, even if I did keep my job there is no way in hell I'd feel comfortable walking back into the building given some of the threats I've received from some of my supposed "work-friends". I've written that job off to be honest - My worry is moving forward in terms of looking for a new job and having to disclose this.

To be honest, I'm in a state. I haven't left my house in about a week for fear of a lynch mob chasing me down the street (bit extreme thought, but I'm sure some people on here understand). I'm just scared of the whole thing and what's going to happen. I have no previous convictions, the police have stated there is no pattern to show I am seeking all these images out. I'm awaiting a social worker getting in touch to go over my circumstances to put forward their views in terms of sentencing (I'm not sure if this is common or not). I just want this whole debacle over and to move on with my life but I know this'll never happen now. My life is never going to be the same.

My sentencing is in January so this is going to be a long month I feel.

I'm happy to answer any questions anyone may have about this - To a degree, I don't want to give too much information away that might identify me.

Thanks for listening.

Welcome khafka,
I can totally understand being in a state and the journey for everyone who goes through this isn’t pleasant especially with the press being involved not helping matters. The waiting is one of the hardest things. 
A positive though, it’s great some of the people in your life have stuck by you and I hope they can give you some support going forward. A practical point, I know it’s Christmas, but do save as much money as you can incase your job/employment gets tricky.

I would recommend getting out for a walk every now and then, maybe somewhere a bit further afield so you don’t feel like you’re looking over your shoulder? It’s winter so it’s often dark and you can wrap up (and hide a bit too), just to get some fresh air, maybe see some Christmas lights and distract your mind.

As I said to someone else, some kind of talking therapy is great, just to keep calm if nothing else. Also if you want to talk (anonymously) about it to someone who knows all about this stuff, you can give the Lucy Faithful foundation a call, they’re really nice and trustworthy - 0808 1000 900, it’s good to talk about it. Stay strong.


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Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.

Welcome to the forums. 
I found myself in a very similar position recently, and agree with supreme being that the waiting is the hardest bit. To some extent whatever the court outcome, you will feel better when it comes, as it will give you a baseline to rebuild on. 
The whole scenario is very polarising. I have lost friends I never thought I would and become closer to some I would not have expected . Talking does help and if you have friends or family, this would be a good place to start, I guess from what you said, they already know anyway from the papers, but going through it will help you, and might help them understand a little more as i'm sure the press release was fairly one sided. Lucy Faithful are very good, non judgemental and will listen and help, definitely worth giving them a call, at very least it will give you something to occupy your time. Do speak to them as well about courses or interventions, as these will reflect well upon you. Take their guidance. 
Do what you can to keep busy, get creative - i.e. instead of doing one big food shop, do lots of smaller ones. Routine will help, as will finding things to distract you. It will be a long road no matter what the sentence, though this unknowing and uncertainty side is the hardest bit for sure. 
I took some time to post here my first time, though do have a check in daily on the forum as part of my own routine. Thought id chip in as well and just let you know it will get better. 

Find another solicitor who has experience in this area. See if you have a defence, and if so if you can cancel your guilty plea. Not sure if easy to do, but if you have doubts about your solicitors advice then it's easier to deal with that now than after sentencing.  There are a few things you mentioned which may mean you have a defence, bit hard to know. You've effectively had the worst punishment already, the media reporting. 

Hi Mr W,

Thanks for nice welcome.

My parents have found out with it being in the papers and all. They were my biggest worry however they have been fantastically supportive of me.

I've started going for walks in the evening when its a bit darker and quieter outside. There's a nice river than runs near my house so I tend to walk along/chill there for a bit with a cigarette and just stare out into the city. Really quite peaceful.

For what it is worth, the Facebook group have moved on to some other unlucky sod to target their abuse at but I'm under no illusions I'll probably crop up again in January. If I don't serve a custodial sentence then I'm sure the comments will be rife with people foaming at the mouth, baying for blood at the seemingly failed justice system.

FAO: newstart
I wouldn't say the papers were overly one-sided as such. They were a bit vague, basically short and to the point "[CITY] man [MY NAME] from [STREET] pleads guilty to possession of 270 indecent images after home was raided on [DATE]. Sentence is deferred until January for social work reports" but it was enough for the masses to create their own picture in their heads and I'm sure you know how that then plays out.

The first couple of days I barely left my bed but I'm finding myself now getting into more of a routine. Just small things I wouldn't necessarily done before. Like I'll go to the shop every morning to get a paper (I don't really read the paper but it gets me out the house).

I think that sounds a positive step. For me - routine and time helped considerably, as well as chatting with some friends about things. 

Well my support network seems to be slowly dwindling now that office politics in my work is coming into force. Anyone who has "stood up" for me the last week or so is now wanting to distance myself for their own well-being so they're not getting hassled due to "siding with a horrendous paedophile monster" which is understandable.

I've also parted ways with my closest friend tonight partly due to this but partly due to past things I've done.

So now I'm essentially left with nothing in the space of 48hrs.

Once January rolls around and depending on my sentence I'm contemplating moving out of this city but I have no idea what to do with that. I have a bit of money to last me but I think it might end up just being wasted if I move.

Sorry to hear that, it does seem like it has been a very challenging time over the last few days. You will always find people to speak to here, but clearly it will lack the support of going for a proverbial (or real) pint with someone in real life. 

From the sounds of it, a move might be a bit premature, especially if money will be an issue as a result - I thought briefly about doing the same, but discounted it for that reason, just my personal view. 

Keep busy, keep doing things, in and out of the house. - Call Lucy Faithful,  - at very least this will be something to do, but I think you might find some support there as well. They helped me a lot organise my thoughts and by extension help with life in general. 

 find ways to spend your time and just take 1 day at a time. the old cliche of today's news is tomorrows chip paper does hold true. Try not to think too far ahead and worry about things that are out of your control. 

Thanks newstart.

I can announce sadly that as of about 20 minutes ago I am now unemployed as my contract was terminated with immediate effect. I'm not super shocked and surprised and I always said I don't think I could walk back into the office anyway regardless. Although it is a strange feeling signing on after 10 years!

I'm still on the fence about moving. I like my home, I've been here for years but my last friend that walked away last night strongly urged me to move just in case some mob kicks my door in and gives me a good kicking - I honestly can't really see that happening, and if they do I'll just report them to the police.

I have discussed with my parents about a name change and their thoughts on it. Again, they were super supportive about it and understood my reasons for it and I think I have "new" name I like which also has some ties to my family but totally different from my birth name. I'll be looking at doing this after my sentencing to help alleviate a bit of the Google effect as I have a very unique name which shows up my crime instantly on Google.

The plus sides I'm taking from this is now I now 100% where I stand in terms of my employment, I have a plan in place name wise after my sentencing so I'm feeling like I'm a little bit in control.

I also took a call from a police officer yesterday to have him come round to discuss my case for the social work team and advised he'd be managing me. He seemed really nice on the phone so touch wood on that! I've read various stories of people's officers/PPU being a bit jobsworthy and a rough to work with.

Now I guess it is just a case of waiting until January.

All my main stresses are now gone as they've reached all their natural conclusions. I'm also not stressed about my sentence, there's no point. It won't change anything. Stressing about something like this is just like paying interest on something that hasn't happened yet.

I do really like this forum so I will be sticking around. It is nice to have fellow people who are in a similar situation or have gone through it and have zero judgement.

Hi
I am sorry to read your article and suggest as you pleaded guilty many things will seem to disappear but DO NOT DESPAIR
In regard to solicitors I wish I had done more research to find someone with the experience required; my case was different but was a sex offence.
I will start by saying the person I am recommending is only known to me from when I researched to have SOPO conditions removed and we have been successful. I do wish I had him for my sentencing.
Have a look at the link below and if you feel comfortable call Michael. He is honest, straight forward and I know for a fact he recently worked on a case like yours
http://www.andrewstorchsolicitors.com/our-people/michael-phillips/

I will not give you my name; obvious reasons, but you can always come back here to ask questions --  of everyone.

No matter the stress in your life now, accept the past as you cannot change it but you can change your future by working hard and believing in yourself. 

Good luck from an EX 'sex' Offender




Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.