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Mr W
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From speaking to people this week a growing number have found this week the toughest so far. Mentally more than anything else.
I hope you're all coping.
Has anyone been creative or successful in lockdown? Work? volunteering? skills? good stories?
I have to say my darts throw has improved, I'm working on that elusive 180 though and I can recommend the Darts at Home live streams.
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Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.
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Mr W
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Group: Forum Members
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Absolutely, the skills programmes, punter99 mentions, and focusing on things you can control, as JASB mentioned are so important, especially when it comes to mindsets during this testing time.
The idea of this thread was more directed towards quite literally things to do to help people here, ex-offenders, on this forum to avoid potential depression or offending. Especially at a time where it may feel you're not being thought of because everyone's so busy with everything else or if you're having trouble adjusting to a somewhat solitary lifestyle in unprecedented circumstances. How are you chaps keeping busy? Maybe things you do can help others here?
The novelty of having 'free time' for some people that I know is already wearing off and one said it's like 'groundhog day', so I'm keen to keep this conversation going, especially as there's no end in sight yet.
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Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.
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JASB
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Group: Awaiting Activation
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+xHaving spent some time on my own after my conviction I was coming to terms with a lot of things all at once, some alone time was good... but not all of the time. With these new restrictions on all of us here in the UK I thought it would be a good idea to open a thread to help each other get through potentially tough times as we're unsure at present how long this will go on for. I remember a group task during the probation period that was interesting, it was where all group members wrote down which exact feelings they had during their offending or which might have been a part of what lead them to offend in the first place. It surprised me at the time, but after thinking about it made sense, almost everyone put "feeling lonely", so it’s SO important we tackle this any way we can NOW especially during such unprecedented times. We, as humans, are sociable creatures! So enforced loneliness may start to have an effect on us in the next few days and weeks. Without noticing it you might feel down, upset, grumpy, your mind might start mulling over things about the past or even depression. We can also lose our - what can be called - bullet points, our things that we unconsciously rely on each week. An example of this is the football on a Saturday, it feels like the weekend isn’t the weekend when there’s no football. Or for those with a job, when you don’t go to work, you realise how much the job dictates part of your daily routine from what time you get up, what time you eat, etc. So not having these bullet points/routines may impact on how you’re feeling and that can be unsettling. If you’re reading and you can relate to this then it’s you I’m talking to. So, here are some ideas you can do any time of the day: - Do some EXERCISE outside (at a distance) if you can, or even some indoors, I promise you it’s good for your mental health as well as your physical health. Yes, even if you think "exercise isn't for me", try it!
- Make where you live a little bit NICER, open windows, clean stuff, have a purge of papers, leaflets, clutter, stuff that comes through the letterbox etc.
- Find a radio station you like so you can pull yourself AWAY from the TV and give your eyes a rest (there are usually radio stations on your TV if you don’t have a radio with no picture).
- YouTube - bear with me on this - it’s good for many different things such as LEARNING how to do something (either FUN that you’ve always wanted to try or learning a skill that might help you with getting work), there’s also countless meditation, yoga, exercise (just try it!) videos. And yes, there’s countless funny pet videos, but my ideas here are about trying to make best use of your time ;-)
- Supermarkets are selling out of the obvious stuff so if you can buy different things then use this time to TRY NEW FLAVOURS, things you don’t normally eat, if you don’t like it, so what, at least you’ve tried it, right? And if you do, then voila! You’ve widened your choice of food next time you’re shopping. Try this with drinks too, there's all sorts of hot and cold drinks.
I hope you find at least one of these helpful and if you have ideas to help get through the next few weeks then do share them to, at the very least, try and keep our minds active, prevent the feeling of loneliness and stay safe. Hi Mr W, First I congratulate you on raising the topic as I believe many readings on the forum may be quietly suffering and for whatever reason do not have the confidence to think they are not the same as others. In another post I responded to someone who was concerned / worried about their future "prison" life and his expectations. I was surprised but please to receive a thank you from them - and others - about some words I had found when researching prior to my incarceration. Quite simply and condensed: Try to forget "time" as you once lived it as it has now changed as "you cannot control" it. Think of the aspects of your life you can control.
Example using communication. You write a letter or send an email, you do control the correctness of the grammar, spelling, the tone you use and writing the correct address. Acknowledge that once you have posted / sent it you no longer control it so do not focus on it. A response will arrive whether you stress or not but your health will be better if you do not.
The same life skill process thinking is with everything else you do in your life. I would suggest we are all more knowledgeable now than before our offence so do not think you will now by default commit an offence again.
As far as Punter99's possibly offence suggestion by some is concerned, it is at times like now when the lessons on self control mechanisms they have learnt should be re-studied. I am sure a Probation officer or PPU Officer would be sympatric, understanding and show compassionate support/advice via a telephone call rather than visiting someone with a warrant because of an offence.
It is in scenarios like the present that we have to show trust to others even more than before so they will eventually learn ex offenders can rehabilitate and be trusted. So whatever you do today or tomorrow, please focus positively and only on what you can control and so be relaxed.
Keep safe and not only from the virus!
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
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punter99
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In my case, loneliness, boredom and social isolation, all contributed directly to my poor mental health and then, indirectly, to my offending, as a consequence. The 'cure' for me is to go out and socialise with other people more. Being on the register and having to disclose to people has already made that extremely difficult, but now, ironically, social isolation and avoidance is normal.
Across the country, we can expect to see a big increase in domestic violence, a large rise in alcohol misuse and massive demand for online pornography, which will lead many, who are psychologically vulnerable to begin with, into viewing illegal images and to them developing a porn addiction.
I can only hope that the upshot of all this is greater awareness among the general public of the risks posed by social isolation to peoples wellbeing. If they then start to reach out to the lonely, isolated people in our society, which doesn't just include the elderly btw, instead of just ignoring them, then some good may come of this crisis.
In the meantime, ex offenders who have been on the thinking skills programs etc. should be practising all those emotional regulation exercises they were taught. Unlike the general public, we have been trained to deal with the frustrations and inconveniences of a lockdown, without cracking up. For anybody who has had to spend 23 hours a day locked in a prison cell, for years, the current restrictions shouldn't pose much of a problem.
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Mr W
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Group: Forum Members
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nuances of penny whistles etc
I have no idea if this was serious but it made laugh. Thoughts go out to your neighbours.
=
I also consider myself quite a creative type so I've been focusing a lot on my music lately and working on an album relating to my offense and the overall situation which I've been finding really cathartic.
Great! The best songs are born from real stories of emotion. Keep going with staying sober too.
=
I guess I wanted to start the thread because a few people are saying to me the "weirdness" and boredom is starting to kick in already and, I think, this is only the start of what's going to be a long haul. So the more we can help each other through it with ideas etc and curb negativity the better! Cliche phrase, but if it only helps one person, then job done.
===== Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.
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khafka
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I've finding it quite liberating at the moment to be honest.
With the streets being emptier when I'm going to shops I feel less paranoid and judgment.
When everything went down with me I was lucky my face wasn't in the paper so unless someone actually knew me it is unlikely they'd know about my crime and I'm just an average Joe to them, however I'm sure people in a similar position still feel like everyone is looking at them and judging them.
I also consider myself quite a creative type so I've been focusing a lot on my music lately and working on an album relating to my offense and the overall situation which I've been finding really cathartic.
I had a drinking problem prior to all this too and I'm proud to say I'm 4 months sober and going strong. There's a really good app I've been using and it also helps show you what triggers can lead you to wanting a drink which can then help you try and avoid those situations/scenarios which might cause you to relapse.
It is a free app called "EasyQuit Drinking". It is on the Android store. I'm not sure if it is on the Apple store.
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CC
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Group: Forum Members
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+xHaving spent some time on my own after my conviction I was coming to terms with a lot of things all at once, some alone time was good... but not all of the time. With these new restrictions on all of us here in the UK I thought it would be a good idea to open a thread to help each other get through potentially tough times as we're unsure at present how long this will go on for. I remember a group task during the probation period that was interesting, it was where all group members wrote down which exact feelings they had during their offending or which might have been a part of what lead them to offend in the first place. It surprised me at the time, but after thinking about it made sense, almost everyone put "feeling lonely", so it’s SO important we tackle this any way we can NOW especially during such unprecedented times. We, as humans, are sociable creatures! So enforced loneliness may start to have an effect on us in the next few days and weeks. Without noticing it you might feel down, upset, grumpy, your mind might start mulling over things about the past or even depression. We can also lose our - what can be called - bullet points, our things that we unconsciously rely on each week. An example of this is the football on a Saturday, it feels like the weekend isn’t the weekend when there’s no football. Or for those with a job, when you don’t go to work, you realise how much the job dictates part of your daily routine from what time you get up, what time you eat, etc. So not having these bullet points/routines may impact on how you’re feeling and that can be unsettling. If you’re reading and you can relate to this then it’s you I’m talking to. So, here are some ideas you can do any time of the day: - Do some EXERCISE outside (at a distance) if you can, or even some indoors, I promise you it’s good for your mental health as well as your physical health. Yes, even if you think "exercise isn't for me", try it!
- Make where you live a little bit NICER, open windows, clean stuff, have a purge of papers, leaflets, clutter, stuff that comes through the letterbox etc.
- Find a radio station you like so you can pull yourself AWAY from the TV and give your eyes a rest (there are usually radio stations on your TV if you don’t have a radio with no picture).
- YouTube - bear with me on this - it’s good for many different things such as LEARNING how to do something (either FUN that you’ve always wanted to try or learning a skill that might help you with getting work), there’s also countless meditation, yoga, exercise (just try it!) videos. And yes, there’s countless funny pet videos, but my ideas here are about trying to make best use of your time ;-)
- Supermarkets are selling out of the obvious stuff so if you can buy different things then use this time to TRY NEW FLAVOURS, things you don’t normally eat, if you don’t like it, so what, at least you’ve tried it, right? And if you do, then voila! You’ve widened your choice of food next time you’re shopping. Try this with drinks too, there's all sorts of hot and cold drinks.
I hope you find at least one of these helpful and if you have ideas to help get through the next few weeks then do share them to, at the very least, try and keep our minds active, prevent the feeling of loneliness and stay safe. My penny whistle is coming along nicely. At first glance a simple instrument but after a while it comes with a deeper understanding of its nuances. I have a collection of soprano and low D's
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Mr W
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 454,
Visits: 5.5K
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Having spent some time on my own after my conviction I was coming to terms with a lot of things all at once, some alone time was good... but not all of the time. With these new restrictions on all of us here in the UK I thought it would be a good idea to open a thread to help each other get through potentially tough times as we're unsure at present how long this will go on for. I remember a group task during the probation period that was interesting, it was where all group members wrote down which exact feelings they had during their offending or which might have been a part of what lead them to offend in the first place. It surprised me at the time, but after thinking about it made sense, almost everyone put "feeling lonely", so it’s SO important we tackle this any way we can NOW especially during such unprecedented times. We, as humans, are sociable creatures! So enforced loneliness may start to have an effect on us in the next few days and weeks. Without noticing it you might feel down, upset, grumpy, your mind might start mulling over things about the past or even depression. We can also lose our - what can be called - bullet points, our things that we unconsciously rely on each week. An example of this is the football on a Saturday, it feels like the weekend isn’t the weekend when there’s no football. Or for those with a job, when you don’t go to work, you realise how much the job dictates part of your daily routine from what time you get up, what time you eat, etc. So not having these bullet points/routines may impact on how you’re feeling and that can be unsettling. If you’re reading and you can relate to this then it’s you I’m talking to. So, here are some ideas you can do any time of the day: - Do some EXERCISE outside (at a distance) if you can, or even some indoors, I promise you it’s good for your mental health as well as your physical health. Yes, even if you think "exercise isn't for me", try it!
- Make where you live a little bit NICER, open windows, clean stuff, have a purge of papers, leaflets, clutter, stuff that comes through the letterbox etc.
- Find a radio station you like so you can pull yourself AWAY from the TV and give your eyes a rest (there are usually radio stations on your TV if you don’t have a radio with no picture).
- YouTube - bear with me on this - it’s good for many different things such as LEARNING how to do something (either FUN that you’ve always wanted to try or learning a skill that might help you with getting work), there’s also countless meditation, yoga, exercise (just try it!) videos. And yes, there’s countless funny pet videos, but my ideas here are about trying to make best use of your time ;-)
- Supermarkets are selling out of the obvious stuff so if you can buy different things then use this time to TRY NEW FLAVOURS, things you don’t normally eat, if you don’t like it, so what, at least you’ve tried it, right? And if you do, then voila! You’ve widened your choice of food next time you’re shopping. Try this with drinks too, there's all sorts of hot and cold drinks.
I hope you find at least one of these helpful and if you have ideas to help get through the next few weeks then do share them to, at the very least, try and keep our minds active, prevent the feeling of loneliness and stay safe.
===== Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.
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