Hi everyone,
I'm new here, literally came across this site by accident, I can't even remember what I was looking for! I've been out of custody for about 6-8 weeks after serving half of a 5 year sentence.
I had never been in prison before, I had been arrested once or twice but nothing more. I was expecting a suspended sentence, my pre sentence report was quite favourable, it wasn't until the morning of my sentencing that my barrister told me that the judge can ignore all the recommendations and that she had an idea that in my case that's exactly what he was going to do. I was in bits, even at 46 years of age, except from TV I had never seen the inside of a prison. At first it was what I had expected, fortunately it turned out I was at a privately run jail, G4S, according to the lads it was a holiday camp compared to a 'proper' HMP, I don't know, for me it was bad enough, like a lot of mature prisoners I'd lost everything, my home, possessions, friends and family abandoned me. I was on my own. I largely kept myself to myself, I got the nickname 'Hitman' because I resembled him in some way, I have to admit I didn't mind, I could have been called worse!
So here I am now, out of prison and trying to get my life back together, homeless, very few friends, well 1 to be honest! I'm making a little headway with re-establishing some family ties but it's like walking on egg shells, shame all around me like a thick fog, they appear to act with real scepticism at the findings of mental health professionals seeing it as excuses for my behaviour over the years. They don't understand it's been difficult for me to face these findings too, looking deeply at why you have behaved the way you did and challenging that behaviour is very difficult. Mental health support is appalling, even more so if you are a mature adult male, yes some attitudes are changing but it's too little and it's far too slow. There it is, a rather large nutshell!
I am here to help myself, and to help others if I can, share my experiences, perhaps dispel some myths, maybe provide some insight into avenues you haven't yet given thought to consider.

I welcome your response and very much look forward to spending time in a more positive environment.



Nemo Sine Vitio Est