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Advice needed


Advice needed

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Hantsmale
Hantsmale
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I came out of prison in September 2018! Initially was in approved premises then moved into supported accommodation I have been with my partner for more than nine months now when we got together I was honest with her about my conviction for robbery as I'm a ipp life licence I told her to go to the police get a check on Me all was OK informed probation was given permission to stay at hers for 3 nights a week this went well we told my offender manager we want to move in together she said she would have to come and do an home visit then she said it's fine however she would have to wait for the police to check we told her we had already been to police but she went ahead and checked anyway the other day she said the police check was fine but now the local probation want to do a home check despite it coming under the same probation trust we feel probation are not being transparent and just being given the run around this has dragged on for some time now and we are becoming increasingly frustrated it don't seem right any help or advice would be much appreciated 
JASB
JASB
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Hantsmale - 9 Jan 20 8:19 AM
I came out of prison in September 2018! Initially was in approved premises then moved into supported accommodation I have been with my partner for more than nine months now when we got together I was honest with her about my conviction for robbery as I'm a ipp life licence I told her to go to the police get a check on Me all was OK informed probation was given permission to stay at hers for 3 nights a week this went well we told my offender manager we want to move in together she said she would have to come and do an home visit then she said it's fine however she would have to wait for the police to check we told her we had already been to police but she went ahead and checked anyway the other day she said the police check was fine but now the local probation want to do a home check despite it coming under the same probation trust we feel probation are not being transparent and just being given the run around this has dragged on for some time now and we are becoming increasingly frustrated it don't seem right any help or advice would be much appreciated 

Hi
Please do not get frustrated as your emotions will show it to all and possibly damage the relationship.
Besides suggesting you try and get a 15 minute freebi session with a subject experienced solicitor I am afraid to suggest that you have to live with their actions.
They will be trying to frustrate you to see if you and/or the relationship will last.
Remember, they are judged by society. I am not sure if your offence included violence and I am not suggesting you would be violent to your partner, but consider if that is what they are concerned with.

In all these matters, you will feel defensive but try to focus on yourself belief. be thankful you have a loving partner who can see past your previous life. 
In regard to the 'time' point, you will of learned in prison that 'time expectation' for an offender is not a consideration.
Use your time at this moment wisely, work on your relationship, now that if it is to last you will face more and possibly greater challenges for sure. In other words do not worry about what you cannot control and concentrate on what you can - living an offence free life in a caring relationship. 

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
AB2014
AB2014
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JASB - 9 Jan 20 1:16 PM
Hantsmale - 9 Jan 20 8:19 AM
I came out of prison in September 2018! Initially was in approved premises then moved into supported accommodation I have been with my partner for more than nine months now when we got together I was honest with her about my conviction for robbery as I'm a ipp life licence I told her to go to the police get a check on Me all was OK informed probation was given permission to stay at hers for 3 nights a week this went well we told my offender manager we want to move in together she said she would have to come and do an home visit then she said it's fine however she would have to wait for the police to check we told her we had already been to police but she went ahead and checked anyway the other day she said the police check was fine but now the local probation want to do a home check despite it coming under the same probation trust we feel probation are not being transparent and just being given the run around this has dragged on for some time now and we are becoming increasingly frustrated it don't seem right any help or advice would be much appreciated 

Hi
Please do not get frustrated as your emotions will show it to all and possibly damage the relationship.
Besides suggesting you try and get a 15 minute freebi session with a subject experienced solicitor I am afraid to suggest that you have to live with their actions.
They will be trying to frustrate you to see if you and/or the relationship will last.
Remember, they are judged by society. I am not sure if your offence included violence and I am not suggesting you would be violent to your partner, but consider if that is what they are concerned with.

In all these matters, you will feel defensive but try to focus on yourself belief. be thankful you have a loving partner who can see past your previous life. 
In regard to the 'time' point, you will of learned in prison that 'time expectation' for an offender is not a consideration.
Use your time at this moment wisely, work on your relationship, now that if it is to last you will face more and possibly greater challenges for sure. In other words do not worry about what you cannot control and concentrate on what you can - living an offence free life in a caring relationship. 

Don't forget that, as probation officers are human beings with human frailties, there may be all sorts of things going on below the surface. Probation officers don't all get on with each other, or they may mistrust anyone from a particular office, or they may just be unwilling to trust any officer other than themselves and their boss - i.e. covering themselves, "just in case". That doesn't help you directly, but if you can start to work out why they're doing what they're doing, that may help in the longer term. As JASB and the old prayer say, "Give me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference." If they see a calm(-ish) response from you, that may go a long way. After all, OASys looks at relationships as part of the assessment, along with other stuff, and getting off your licence after 10 years can be helped by how you deal with problems and difficult situations. Good luck with it.

=========================================================

As Chris Stacey said: Although its not formally part of the sentence that is handed down in court, the criminal record that someone comes away with effectively becomes a second sentence, which can have a long-lasting, if not lifelong, impact.

Hantsmale
Hantsmale
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Group: Forum Members
Posts: 3, Visits: 21
AB2014 - 9 Jan 20 1:43 PM
JASB - 9 Jan 20 1:16 PM
Hantsmale - 9 Jan 20 8:19 AM
I came out of prison in September 2018! Initially was in approved premises then moved into supported accommodation I have been with my partner for more than nine months now when we got together I was honest with her about my conviction for robbery as I'm a ipp life licence I told her to go to the police get a check on Me all was OK informed probation was given permission to stay at hers for 3 nights a week this went well we told my offender manager we want to move in together she said she would have to come and do an home visit then she said it's fine however she would have to wait for the police to check we told her we had already been to police but she went ahead and checked anyway the other day she said the police check was fine but now the local probation want to do a home check despite it coming under the same probation trust we feel probation are not being transparent and just being given the run around this has dragged on for some time now and we are becoming increasingly frustrated it don't seem right any help or advice would be much appreciated 

Hi
Please do not get frustrated as your emotions will show it to all and possibly damage the relationship.
Besides suggesting you try and get a 15 minute freebi session with a subject experienced solicitor I am afraid to suggest that you have to live with their actions.
They will be trying to frustrate you to see if you and/or the relationship will last.
Remember, they are judged by society. I am not sure if your offence included violence and I am not suggesting you would be violent to your partner, but consider if that is what they are concerned with.

In all these matters, you will feel defensive but try to focus on yourself belief. be thankful you have a loving partner who can see past your previous life. 
In regard to the 'time' point, you will of learned in prison that 'time expectation' for an offender is not a consideration.
Use your time at this moment wisely, work on your relationship, now that if it is to last you will face more and possibly greater challenges for sure. In other words do not worry about what you cannot control and concentrate on what you can - living an offence free life in a caring relationship. 

Don't forget that, as probation officers are human beings with human frailties, there may be all sorts of things going on below the surface. Probation officers don't all get on with each other, or they may mistrust anyone from a particular office, or they may just be unwilling to trust any officer other than themselves and their boss - i.e. covering themselves, "just in case". That doesn't help you directly, but if you can start to work out why they're doing what they're doing, that may help in the longer term. As JASB and the old prayer say, "Give me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference." If they see a calm(-ish) response from you, that may go a long way. After all, OASys looks at relationships as part of the assessment, along with other stuff, and getting off your licence after 10 years can be helped by how you deal with problems and difficult situations. Good luck with it.

Thank you so much for all the advice I think I'm going take the advice and try and get some legal advice I have a meeting with my offender manager again on Wednesday I'm going to try and explain the situation again and explain that all correct procedures have been followed police are happy shes done her home visit my partner has no criminal record no history of domestic violence my relationships were never an issue on my oaysys will be polite and respectful and try and get my points across thank you all 
JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)Supreme Being (20K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 590, Visits: 878
Hantsmale - 10 Jan 20 7:50 AM
AB2014 - 9 Jan 20 1:43 PM
JASB - 9 Jan 20 1:16 PM
Hantsmale - 9 Jan 20 8:19 AM
I came out of prison in September 2018! Initially was in approved premises then moved into supported accommodation I have been with my partner for more than nine months now when we got together I was honest with her about my conviction for robbery as I'm a ipp life licence I told her to go to the police get a check on Me all was OK informed probation was given permission to stay at hers for 3 nights a week this went well we told my offender manager we want to move in together she said she would have to come and do an home visit then she said it's fine however she would have to wait for the police to check we told her we had already been to police but she went ahead and checked anyway the other day she said the police check was fine but now the local probation want to do a home check despite it coming under the same probation trust we feel probation are not being transparent and just being given the run around this has dragged on for some time now and we are becoming increasingly frustrated it don't seem right any help or advice would be much appreciated 

Hi
Please do not get frustrated as your emotions will show it to all and possibly damage the relationship.
Besides suggesting you try and get a 15 minute freebi session with a subject experienced solicitor I am afraid to suggest that you have to live with their actions.
They will be trying to frustrate you to see if you and/or the relationship will last.
Remember, they are judged by society. I am not sure if your offence included violence and I am not suggesting you would be violent to your partner, but consider if that is what they are concerned with.

In all these matters, you will feel defensive but try to focus on yourself belief. be thankful you have a loving partner who can see past your previous life. 
In regard to the 'time' point, you will of learned in prison that 'time expectation' for an offender is not a consideration.
Use your time at this moment wisely, work on your relationship, now that if it is to last you will face more and possibly greater challenges for sure. In other words do not worry about what you cannot control and concentrate on what you can - living an offence free life in a caring relationship. 

Don't forget that, as probation officers are human beings with human frailties, there may be all sorts of things going on below the surface. Probation officers don't all get on with each other, or they may mistrust anyone from a particular office, or they may just be unwilling to trust any officer other than themselves and their boss - i.e. covering themselves, "just in case". That doesn't help you directly, but if you can start to work out why they're doing what they're doing, that may help in the longer term. As JASB and the old prayer say, "Give me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference." If they see a calm(-ish) response from you, that may go a long way. After all, OASys looks at relationships as part of the assessment, along with other stuff, and getting off your licence after 10 years can be helped by how you deal with problems and difficult situations. Good luck with it.

Thank you so much for all the advice I think I'm going take the advice and try and get some legal advice I have a meeting with my offender manager again on Wednesday I'm going to try and explain the situation again and explain that all correct procedures have been followed police are happy shes done her home visit my partner has no criminal record no history of domestic violence my relationships were never an issue on my oaysys will be polite and respectful and try and get my points across thank you all 

Hi
I hope all goes well and let us know.
Legal advice: i would have a chat with Michael Phillips of Andrew Storch Solicitors (Michael Phillips)
He is friendly and very honest about things.





Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
Edited
11 Months Ago by JASB
Hantsmale
Hantsmale
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)Supreme Being (240 reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 3, Visits: 21
JASB - 10 Jan 20 10:25 AM
Hantsmale - 10 Jan 20 7:50 AM
AB2014 - 9 Jan 20 1:43 PM
JASB - 9 Jan 20 1:16 PM
Hantsmale - 9 Jan 20 8:19 AM
I came out of prison in September 2018! Initially was in approved premises then moved into supported accommodation I have been with my partner for more than nine months now when we got together I was honest with her about my conviction for robbery as I'm a ipp life licence I told her to go to the police get a check on Me all was OK informed probation was given permission to stay at hers for 3 nights a week this went well we told my offender manager we want to move in together she said she would have to come and do an home visit then she said it's fine however she would have to wait for the police to check we told her we had already been to police but she went ahead and checked anyway the other day she said the police check was fine but now the local probation want to do a home check despite it coming under the same probation trust we feel probation are not being transparent and just being given the run around this has dragged on for some time now and we are becoming increasingly frustrated it don't seem right any help or advice would be much appreciated 

Hi
Please do not get frustrated as your emotions will show it to all and possibly damage the relationship.
Besides suggesting you try and get a 15 minute freebi session with a subject experienced solicitor I am afraid to suggest that you have to live with their actions.
They will be trying to frustrate you to see if you and/or the relationship will last.
Remember, they are judged by society. I am not sure if your offence included violence and I am not suggesting you would be violent to your partner, but consider if that is what they are concerned with.

In all these matters, you will feel defensive but try to focus on yourself belief. be thankful you have a loving partner who can see past your previous life. 
In regard to the 'time' point, you will of learned in prison that 'time expectation' for an offender is not a consideration.
Use your time at this moment wisely, work on your relationship, now that if it is to last you will face more and possibly greater challenges for sure. In other words do not worry about what you cannot control and concentrate on what you can - living an offence free life in a caring relationship. 

Don't forget that, as probation officers are human beings with human frailties, there may be all sorts of things going on below the surface. Probation officers don't all get on with each other, or they may mistrust anyone from a particular office, or they may just be unwilling to trust any officer other than themselves and their boss - i.e. covering themselves, "just in case". That doesn't help you directly, but if you can start to work out why they're doing what they're doing, that may help in the longer term. As JASB and the old prayer say, "Give me the strength to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference." If they see a calm(-ish) response from you, that may go a long way. After all, OASys looks at relationships as part of the assessment, along with other stuff, and getting off your licence after 10 years can be helped by how you deal with problems and difficult situations. Good luck with it.

Thank you so much for all the advice I think I'm going take the advice and try and get some legal advice I have a meeting with my offender manager again on Wednesday I'm going to try and explain the situation again and explain that all correct procedures have been followed police are happy shes done her home visit my partner has no criminal record no history of domestic violence my relationships were never an issue on my oaysys will be polite and respectful and try and get my points across thank you all 

Hi
I hope all goes well and let us know.
Legal advice: i would have a chat with Michael Phillips of Andrew Storch Solicitors (Michael Phillips)
He is friendly and very honest about things.




Thanks so much I will let you know how things go and will definitely give Michael a ring should I get no joy thanks 
GO


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