Hi

I found Unlock and theForum after I was arrested last year and it's been a great source of information to date however I do have some questions for people who have been through what I'm going through at the moment. Prior to being arrested I hadn't in all my years had any real interaction with the police let alone the justice system and while I haven't been convicted (or even charged yet) I do consider myself and ex-offender already in that I will never do what I've done again. I realise that while I will never offend again there will be serious punishment and endless consequences to come which I accept.

I was arrested late last year for a sex offence and yes devices taken away etc. I haven't yet told anyone that I was arrested let alone what it is for.  I wanted to tell some people in the immediate weeks following my arrest however my therapist (who I started seeing the week after my arrest) advised me to hold off due to the state I was in and that it would likely bring more questions than any answers I had at the time.  It seemed a wise thing to do however I know that I will have to tell people at some point. While I've written out what I want to say and how I ended up at such a dark place I have no idea how to actually start such a conversation with friends let alone family. I have a few close friends in this country (including my best friend who I've known since we were 11) however my family are all on the other side of the world. I am going back there in March so I would like to tell my father at that time as well.

To make matters worse (if that's the right word) most of my close friends have children and while my offences were never kids (it was mid teen up - not that it matters it's still illegal) I'm really not sure how they will take it. I realise that I may well lose all my friends that I tell over here and that's something which I'll accept and respect but that doesn't make it any easier to start the conversation. The same being true of having the conversation with my Dad. While I have lots and lots of questions (given I'm only at the start of things to come) the main one I'm concerned with at the moment is some advice or guidance as to how to approach telling my friends from those who have been through disclosing such things and come out the other side (whether good or bad) so to speak.

Thanks