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Sexual offence


Sexual offence

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xDanx
xDanx
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khafka - 8 Jul 20 6:45 AM
xDanx - 7 Jul 20 12:51 PM
khafka - 6 Jul 20 6:30 AM
xDanx - 5 Jul 20 11:25 PM
khafka - 5 Jul 20 10:40 PM
Hi Bravelassie,

I guess I was somewhat fortunate. I was sentenced just a little bit before COVID hit so it was almost perfect timing. A good reason not to leave the house, less chance of seeing people etc.

My offence became public in December last year and touch wood, everyone that I know that is/was interested has already said their piece, asked their questions and either vanished or stood by my side.

It's been a great chance for me to self-reflect and make changes in my life that were desperately needed.

One thing I really struggled with was alcohol addiction. A good suppressant for that is not going to the pub for fear of getting your head kicked in. I stopped drinking in December when it all came out and I'm glad to announce I haven't touched a drop since and haven't really had much feelings towards drinking again, even getting beer from the shop or whatnot.

Likely tied into the lack of alcohol, I've also lost a lot of weight too. It shouldn't be overly surprising how much weight you can put on when your diet consists of beer and drunken kebabs every day followed by gallons of energy juice the next morning to get me through to the end of my shift so I can hit the pub again.
  • Weight loss
  • Stopped drinking
  • Meeting amazing, interesting people through my community order I'd otherwise never associate with
  • Having the ability to just exist - This is an underrated feeling from offenders, I feel. At present I don't have to worry about getting up for a job I don't like, doing work for clients I can't tolerate doing projects I have no interest in surrounded by people I'm not fond of. I don't have to worry about meeting up with people when I don't really want to as I'm not invited anymore. I feel pretty free, my day is exactly that. My day. I can do as much or as little as I like in it. Life can actually be pretty good when all you have to worry about is yourself.
  • I'm a big music fan and do a lot of music writing too. I have a small home studio and was musically bereft of ideas for a while but the floodgates have really opened up.

Forgiving myself was a huge task but I have pushed through this. Remember: the reason people fall is so they can learn to pick themselves back up.





Some of the things I have learned over the last few weeks was using various software packages including Adobe Auditions. I quite like my music from time to time as well and one thing that has always annoyed me is that some certain songs I like do not last long enough. So I took the time to learn how to make my own extensions, have it blend in so its not just simply stopping or fading out to repeat the start of the track. I am quite a keen learner and enjoy taking on new things, new challenges but keeping myself motivated enough is the biggest challenge yet.

Seeing as you have your own music studio, do you think it might be possible to throw some tracks your way to make your own covers?

I could certainly take a look.

Is it music you've done yourself or covers of popular stuff? Most of the music I do is based around Rock and Metal.

Apologies to Bravelassie, I feel I am kind of hijacking the post here

I have no experience with making music so do not play any instrument, tracks I have in mind come from some old movies which are some of my all time favorites.
I am not sure if there is a better way to discuss this with you on the forum instead of posting here but one of those movies is No retreat no surrender (Paul Gilreath sound tracks)
Id be really interested to hear what you do.

Christ! That movie is a blast from the past! I remember having on VHS. It was one of the first Van Damme movies I ever watched! Are you just after instrumentals?

Was pretty much a movie I grew up watching as a kid. I have searched all over for anyone else who may have done some covers to the Paul Gilreath sound track but have been unsuccessful.
Instrumentals would be absolutely perfect and I look forward to hearing what you can do with some of the tracks from the movie. Ones in particular that I like are "stand on your own" and "The Rescue" which is one I have extended using Adobe Auditions. And the OST used in the training scene.

khafka
khafka
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xDanx - 8 Jul 20 9:45 AM
khafka - 8 Jul 20 6:45 AM
xDanx - 7 Jul 20 12:51 PM
khafka - 6 Jul 20 6:30 AM
xDanx - 5 Jul 20 11:25 PM
khafka - 5 Jul 20 10:40 PM
Hi Bravelassie,

I guess I was somewhat fortunate. I was sentenced just a little bit before COVID hit so it was almost perfect timing. A good reason not to leave the house, less chance of seeing people etc.

My offence became public in December last year and touch wood, everyone that I know that is/was interested has already said their piece, asked their questions and either vanished or stood by my side.

It's been a great chance for me to self-reflect and make changes in my life that were desperately needed.
  • Weight loss
  • Stopped drinking
  • Meeting amazing, interesting people through my community order I'd otherwise never associate with
  • Having the ability to just exist - This is an underrated feeling from offenders, I feel. At present I don't have to worry about getting up for a job I don't like, doing work for clients I can't tolerate doing projects I have no interest in surrounded by people I'm not fond of. I don't have to worry about meeting up with people when I don't really want to as I'm not invited anymore. I feel pretty free, my day is exactly that. My day. I can do as much or as little as I like in it. Life can actually be pretty good when all you have to worry about is yourself.
  • I'm a big music fan and do a lot of music writing too. I have a small home studio and was musically bereft of ideas for a while but the floodgates have really opened up.

Forgiving myself was a huge task but I have pushed through this. Remember: the reason people fall is so they can learn to pick themselves back up.





Some of the things I have learned over the last few weeks was using various software packages including Adobe Auditions. I quite like my music from time to time as well and one thing that has always annoyed me is that some certain songs I like do not last long enough. So I took the time to learn how to make my own extensions, have it blend in so its not just simply stopping or fading out to repeat the start of the track. I am quite a keen learner and enjoy taking on new things, new challenges but keeping myself motivated enough is the biggest challenge yet.

Seeing as you have your own music studio, do you think it might be possible to throw some tracks your way to make your own covers?

I could certainly take a look.

Is it music you've done yourself or covers of popular stuff? Most of the music I do is based around Rock and Metal.

Apologies to Bravelassie, I feel I am kind of hijacking the post here

I have no experience with making music so do not play any instrument, tracks I have in mind come from some old movies which are some of my all time favorites.
I am not sure if there is a better way to discuss this with you on the forum instead of posting here but one of those movies is No retreat no surrender (Paul Gilreath sound tracks)
Id be really interested to hear what you do.

Christ! That movie is a blast from the past! I remember having on VHS. It was one of the first Van Damme movies I ever watched! Are you just after instrumentals?

Was pretty much a movie I grew up watching as a kid. I have searched all over for anyone else who may have done some covers to the Paul Gilreath sound track but have been unsuccessful.
Instrumentals would be absolutely perfect and I look forward to hearing what you can do with some of the tracks from the movie. Ones in particular that I like are "stand on your own" and "The Rescue" which is one I have extended using Adobe Auditions. And the OST used in the training scene.

I'll see what I can do! I make no promises! haha

There doesn't appear to be any sheet music kicking about from a quick glance so I'll need to deconstruct the songs and get the key signatures and time sigs sorted.

Edited
4 Years Ago by khafka
Thorswrath
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I think we have to be very careful about who we choose as friends for numerous reasons.

I have found it difficult to make new real friends , luckily i have a couple of close friends who have stood by me who i count as proper mates, the kind of people i can ask for help or would be happy to help.

I am surrounded by people all day at work, i work in construction and i get on with most people because i am very good at mucking in and being 'one of the lads' so it garners a certain amount of respect, if you pull your weight, help people out and generally be a nice and approachable person then you can have a laugh at work and enjoy working with people, however i am very cautious about how much of my past and private life i divulge as is the case with most people, so that's perfectly normal. for example i'm  quite open about the fact i used to be a cocaine addict. this normally comes up when people start talking about beer! and i say i no longer drink and haven't done so for over 5 years, but i stop short of going into detail about the tragic consequences.

In my line of work there is little time for political correctness and people say how they feel which can both be a blessing and a curse.

I'm good friends with one of the guys on my site and he has 3 boys, however our relationship is work based and stays at work. I assume he doesn't know about my offence and in any case i am not homosexual .ie my crime was posession of indecent images or females exclusively, but the authorities just always assume that if you have committed a crime of that nature you must also be homosexual and don't define the sex of the subjects related to the crime and take it into consideration with regards to future management and monitoring. having said that. I can understand the whole 'erring on the side of caution' side of things on their part.

Personally, in the very unlikely event that i found myself in a situation where i had to visit my friends home (he lives too far away for me just 'pop round' for a chat') then I would disclose to him. For the sake of maintaining a working relationship and staying professional i feel it would be antisocial for me to go around blurting out 'im a RSO' the need to disclose only arrises in terms of friends and acquaintances when there may be or is a tangible element of risk both from my perspective and the perspective of law enforcement.

The way i look at it is, if i were a father at what point would i want to know one of my colleagues was an RSO, certainly i wouldn't want to find out after i had invited that individual to my home and my kids were there. But i personally wouldn't be that bothered if i only ever saw this person at work where also only people over 18 worked.

We all have to try and live our lives as normal as possible and stay law abiding


JASB
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Bravelass - 5 Jul 20 8:23 PM
I have to say that I am so scared when I meet new people to even start talking about anything. It's natural for folks to want to know about your life. But I just freeze. Yes I went to prison.....but for what crime? So I isolate myself so much because a lot of the time the weight of guilt and shame is so heavy to carry. I can't handle questions and most probably stupid comment because our crime us under a shameful and strong label. How do you all cope?
Thanks

Hi Bravelassie,

First may I welcome you and your offer to supporting others via your other post. Please read my words as only challenging the approach you take towards yourself, your perceptions, your assumptions and nothing but supportive towards your new life.

You have already taken a big step to redefining your life by creating posts. Though you are sat behind the wire and electricity that gets us all thinking "I am in a safe place, no one can see me therefore no one can hurt me", it is in reality a dangerous environment. Not for the reason most "authorities" try to persuade us to believe, but in my opinion, because we are isolating ourselves from what has caused the most incredible development of us humans, our desire to belong to be part of society!  

This desire has already surfaced within you when you created your first post. Yes theForum is a "society" or put another way, it is a group of individuals with the common purpose of improving the lives of others.

As with all societies, here you will find challenges but you will also find rewards. The manner you approach both of those will define your life within theForum because you will create an "identity". It could be by the way you write, discuss opinions or whatever with others. Individuals may or may not look for your posts according to the "identity/life" you create.   It is the same within that other society that now seems to of cast us aside. It is your responsibility to yourself to redefine the perception and assumptions that others have created by only reading or hearing stories of you.

As with all stories, it takes an individual's belief in the words they join together to create the desired image, dream they wish to portray.

Know in your life you are the author of the words that will redefine you. Only you can rejuvenate the individual of your past joys and successes. That individual is the foreward of your story. Use that individual, develop its character in a manner that will follow the paths you did not choose. Think and plan the future "possible" chapters that will allow adventures - circumventing the restrictions circumstances impose - that will lead to the life you wish.

The reason for the manner of my writing is to emphasise your current story and its certain elements of its past only have to be read to certain individuals and not all. The majority of occasions you decide which pages are to be read and by whom.

My story I have redesigned, my past has variations depending on whose company I am in, my present has two variations: the authorities and everyone else. My future is not decided but I have various chapters that will either be included or dismissed.

I do not lie to another, if a direct question is asked i consider who is asking and respond accordingly. Think as a politician does i.e. answer the question you wanted to be asked not what you was asked.

Keep writing and supporting others as that will be valuable input for your story.



Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

GO


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