Hello,

Sorry you are in this situation - I can't give any clarity on the SOR/ SHPO or the wording of it. I am aware others on here have successfully argued for a reduction in the SHPO term, so I am sure they will give their view on that. In terms of the Under 16's restrictions - that is fairly standard as the legal system is risk obverse.

In terms of asking courts to change orders - some want it done in open court, others don't. I would guess that if your offense has not been reported as yet, they won't be intrested.

In terms of 'getting on with life' when the orders are done with - that is pretty much what you have to try and do. I have always had a worry in my mind about it, and that never really went away - so I would suggest from an emotional point of view you may have that. In terms of disclosure you really should do that - not straight away, but you should. Don't assume people will run a mile - I disclosed to an ex.  He had a lot of questions, which I answered and he didn't run. He turned out to be an idiot and we broke up, but that is another story. Just think what would happen if a partner 'found out' - they would have no trust, so it's better to be open and honest. 

I received a conviction in July 2022 for 53 cat C and 2 cat A. It was a low point of my life but it is what it is. I won't go into detail about what caused it, but there was a lot of traumatic things happening in my life at the time and I spiralled into some dark places. And hence I am where I am now. 

Anyway, my fiancée at the time stuck by me from the initial police investigation in January 2021, but in October 2022 (3 months after my conviction in July 2022) she was sacked from her job as a school teacher and she left me. It was traumatising how sudden it was and how overnight the person I'd lived with for 8 years was gone from my life forever. I fell into depression, moved back in with my parents and attended counselling. I managed to keep my job as the story never hit the papers. Though I am always concerned that work will request a random "update" check on employee's criminal records. Not that it's happened before with my employer. 
Things are better now, I'm trying to buy my own house (though I'm struggling because of a gambling addition which occurred during my depression and which has damaged my affordability and credit score). But overall I am feeling better and more optimistic. But I still have concerns for the future.

Anyway. Conviction wise, I got a 3 year community order, 5 years on the SOR and 7 years SHPO. I had to do 200hrs community service and I've been given courses to do, but they haven't started yet.
A few questions / comments:
Firstly, why is my SHPO 2 years longer than my SOR? 
Secondly, my offence, whilst disgraceful, was not a contact offence. So why does my SHPO say no contact with under 16s? My two nephews for instance? It seems disproportionate. 
Thirdly, my community order should become spent immediately following the new updates to ROA act (came into force Oct 28th 2023). But the 7 year SHPO affects things too. Does that mean that my community order will remain on my file until the SHPO has finished? 
And I guess as a bit of an extra question, is it realistically possible to get my SHPO reduced by 2 years to bring it in line with the duration of my SOR registration? I hear you can write to the court and request it, but that I may need to attend in person to represent myself. And with that, I assume there's the risk of a nosy reporter drifting in and picking up on my case which would be disastrous. So is it better just to leave it?

Once the community order and SHPO are "spent" - can I pretty much get on with my life more or less as normal? How do relationships work after it's spent? I'll be nearly 40 when the SHPO is spent. I'm hoping to be in a relationship before that but I'd need to disclose my conviction to them and I just assume they'll run a mile and spread my conviction details around the local area like wildfire. So that worries me too. And do I need to "disclose" my history to a potential partner after it's spent? Would they find out if I didn't disclose? Would we be able to have kids after it's spent? 

So many Qs and uncertainties. If anyone has been through similar or are expert in this field, I'd be really grateful for an answer. I just want to be a valuable and constructive member of society. I made the mistakes I made in 2018. I fear they will haunt me forever.