I am currently on an SRO.  I have been told that I have to wait 2 years for an investigation to start.   I am highly remorseful and such a wait without updates, without recognition of the huge work i'm doing to tun my life around is affecting my health ... Anyone else had / having similar experiences ? 

The wait is the worst part, *but* hang on in there. Eventually you bottom out, and then you start to feel better.
If you haven't done so already, talk to the Lucy Faithful helpline. They don't judge and they help you feel better. Apart from anything else, they can tell you that you have just about zero chance of going to prison if previously of good character, if that's something that's worrying you.

Get legal advice if you can afford it. There's not a lot they can do at this stage but they also don't judge and you'll feel better for doing something. I assume you're already getting therapy but if not, do.

Take it one day at a time, and after a while you'll realise you are actually enjoying life again despite this shitty thing going on in it.  

Hi
I like many others here had to go through the process you are on so we do understand you. So do not think you are alone and do not take any of my words as anything else than encouragement through this process.

In my case I had to wait a total of 2 years before sentencing even though I plead guilty at my interview. It took a year just to get to my plea hearing where I pleaded guilty and was placed on the SRO. Then as mentioned I had to wait another year for sentencing.

For clarity, I discovered more about myself and so "reset" my behavior in those 2 years waiting for sentencing than any punishment has or could of done. This was shown to be proved as I was never "approved" to undertake any form of sex offender course or treatment. 

Your emotions, self doubt etc will be so erratic you will look for any support / advice to try and regain control over the situation. We all did and some still do. Do not be afraid of that as long as it is "informed" support and not family etc offering words that are only based on "emotions" . You will learn the difference in the same manner you have learnt; or will learn, that at the beginning you feel "guilt as you have offended" but, later that just changes to "shame as more individuals discover the offence". Again this is normal and we have all followed this path.

Know you cannot control everything; that is why you have legal advice.
However know there are elements you can control that will, more than anything else, encourage you to move on through this whilst learning how to "control" whatever it was that allowed you to offend.

I will not ask what your offence is but I would politely stress that you focus on your own wellbeing. Work with Probation when they get involved and interview you for their pre sentence report.

You say you are on the SO register at the moment. Please be aware that if you do go to prison that time is not included in the period you have been placed on it. So if you are placed on the SR for 5 years and go to prison for say 2 years that means you will be on the register for a total of 7 years. There may also be arguments that if you go to prison when sentenced in 2 years time that period is "ignored" and the 5 yrs starts after you are released. As a priority when sentenced make sure this timeframe is confirmed at sentencing by your solicitor!

You will have may questions, low time but there will also be good times as your life is rebuilt.

Believe in that and yourself.





Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
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This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

I think it's important to see the difference between SRO and SOR. You can't be on the SOR unless you've been cautioned or convicted. You can be on an SRO (Sexual Risk Order) without being cautioned or convicted. It's not a caution or conviction, so it wouldn't be shown on basic or standard DBS checks, but it would probably be disclosed on an enhanced DBS check.

Meanwhile, the police aren't interested in whether you are trying to turn your life around. They are only interested in detecting offences and preventing further offences. I don't need to know what your restrictions are, but it's a matter of complying with them or you will be getting a conviction, which could well be before the investigation starts, and as it's a court order, the court would take a dim view of any breaches. I think many people who read this sub-forum have or have had either a SOPO or an SHPO, so we can understand that side of things, but having to wait two years for an investigation to start.... It must be similar in some ways to having to wait two years to be sentenced, but any initial court appearance will be more than two years away. Try to stay strong, and don't be afraid to turn to this little community if you're struggling and don't have much support out there.

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If you are to punish a man retributively you must injure him. If you are to reform him you must improve him. And men are not improved by injuries. (George Bernard Shaw)

Hi AB2014,

You are correct and my apoligies for seeing the "SRO" as "SOR" - I do need new glasses.
As ever thank you.

I do believe the majority of words will be benefical and so hope "Haggis" can take some comfort and understanding from them.

Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.