In 2023 was convicted of sexual assault by touching after making a disastrous assumption during a massage at a spa. I am now partially through a community order, with 4 years left on the SOR. At the time I was working in the City and living in London, basically having a great time and enjoying life as a middle-aged single guy. I have since lost everything and am unemployed.

After receiving a letter requesting a voluntary interview I opted for the duty solicitor. I had managed to make it through work in the 2 weeks between the letter arriving and the police interview, but the following day after the police interview I went sick never to return to work there again. The duty solicitor arrived late at the station on the day of the interview and his first words were that an out of court disposal (I.e. caution) was a strong possibility. We spoke for over an hour and he determined that by making a written statement admitting the offence and doing a no comment interview I would likely get a caution. I was very unsure about this because I knew my offence was not driven by malice or harm, but more as a result of a misunderstanding based on an appointment with the same masseuse the week earlier. Reluctantly I took his advice and hoped the police would then issue the caution. It didn't happen. The duty solicitor did say it wasn't a guarantee but had I known that I would have answered the questions honestly. I think an explanation of events may have obtained a caution anyway. Mortified and now in deep anxiety and fear I knew it had backfired miserably, and I duly received the court charge 2 weeks later. I felt completely let down by the advice.

I then proceeded to seek out professional legal advice but it was clear I was bound by the written confession, so pleaded guilty at magistrates court where they decided to keep the case there for sentencing, so a custodial sentence was now unlikely. There would be another 6 weeks until sentencing pending a pre-sentence report. I remained signed off from work which was very unusual for me as I very rarely took sick days and loved my job. My employer had no idea at this stage. 2 weeks before sentencing my legal friend and barrister advised that, per my contract, I was obliged to tell my employer. My gut feeling was to ignore this and wait another 2 weeks to see the sentencing outcome before deciding what to do. But I was being pressurised by the legal friend and barrister to inform them by letter. My gut feeling was that this would not only end my employment but also my professional working career. As it happened the sentencing was adjourned for another 6 weeks, by which time I would have been signed off for 4 months...the GP had no problem doing this as I was basically on the verge of a breakdown. I still hadn't informed my employer and my gut feeling once again told me i should hold off and take advantage of the sick note. My legal team were aghast and said I was committing sick pay fraud. Technically yes I suppose but I was genuinely sick with severe anxiety and felt I had earnt this time to wait for the legal outcome before deciding what to do. However, it was becoming clear my legal team were not on my side, threatening to abandon me unless I informed my employer and obeyed their instructions. By this time I was so anxious that I reluctantly sent my employer a letter prepared by them detailing the sordid details . I sent this 4 weeks before sentencing. I knew sending that letter would spell the end of my career but I was in such an anxious state. As it turned out they abandoned me anyway the day before and I had to appoint a new solicitor. My gut feeling was that I had made a grave error.. either resign or go back into work after sentencing assuming I would get a community order, but don't tell them despite the employment contract saying I must. It was a disastrous decision to tell them and it's clear the letter contained far too many details they didn't need to know. Fast forward to day of sentencing and although there were reporting restrictions the only people present were my mum and dad and a close friend of mine. However there was also another man in the public gallery who none of us recognised. It turns out it was a very senior manager from my employer. My letter had given the court date. I found out during the disciplinary process at work that they had decided to put an investigator in the court. I knew that his very presence there had effectively destroyed my career..word gets around and I am now effectively blacklisted. I was eventually sacked for gross misconduct. A misunderstanding during an intimate massage had snowballed completely out of control. I am now jobless, penniless, without hope for the future. I was living the life of Reilly before this and my existence now is the mirror opposite. We're all responsible for our own actions and I was reckless and very presumptuous, although the court acknowledged there was no evidence of deliberate harm. But if this was supposed to be a caution at the station I can't help but feel very hard done by..especially as there is nothing previous on my record. My probation officer and PPU have both said there would have been no problem continuing my employment there.

I'm starting to realise the very severe impact of a sexual conviction, and I feel as though nobody in the process is truly on your side. Telling my employer in the way I did was a disaster...who else has their employer in court?!. It's a mess but ultimately I'm responsible for my actions but I am paying a very dear price. That's not to say i am oblivious to the harm done to the masseuse..she was upset and I'm sorry for that. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her or anyone. My behaviour there was influenced by similar experiences in similar spas ..I just completely misread it. No excuses..I'm responsible for my actions. The world of finance is closed to me now along with other careers due to the nature of the conviction. I'm middle-aged and only know finance. The future is very bleak indeed.