theForum is run by the charity Unlock. We do not actively moderate, monitor or edit contributions but we may intervene and take any action as we think necessary. Further details can be found in our terms of use. If you have any concerns over the contents on our site, please either register those concerns using the report-a-post button or email us at forum@unlock.org.uk.


Police/ Probation Disclosures


Police/ Probation Disclosures

Author
Message
AdamS
AdamS
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)Supreme Being (274 reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 1, Visits: 13
I wonder if anyone has experience of a similar situation to that that I am currently in. In 2017 Police investigated me for something that I didn’t do and was not later charged with. However, during that investigation they found 4 Category C indecent images on my laptop. They had been deleted a year or so before.

I’m in the start of a new relationship (4 weeks and 2 dates in) and my partner knows about my conviction and SHPO. Police and Probation want to talk to her to confirm that she is aware. She does NOT have children. I told her they want to speak to her and she refuses to speak to them. They now won’t take my word that she knows, and have given me a week to either convince her to speak to them or to end the relationship. If I don’t end the relationship and she won’t voluntarily speak to them, they are saying they will contact her by phone or in person until she does speak to them.

This seems completely unfair on her and will cause her distress. As she has no kids I don’t see the ‘safeguarding’ argument. It seems more that they want to make sure she know for moral reasons. I’m not sure they have the power to disclose just because they think someone deserves to know. Any advice would be welcome.
AB2014
AB2014
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)Supreme Being (159K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 1K, Visits: 6.9K
AdamS - 6 Jan 20 11:33 AM
I wonder if anyone has experience of a similar situation to that that I am currently in. In 2017 Police investigated me for something that I didn’t do and was not later charged with. However, during that investigation they found 4 Category C indecent images on my laptop. They had been deleted a year or so before. I’m in the start of a new relationship (4 weeks and 2 dates in) and my partner knows about my conviction and SHPO. Police and Probation want to talk to her to confirm that she is aware. She does NOT have children. I told her they want to speak to her and she refuses to speak to them. They now won’t take my word that she knows, and have given me a week to either convince her to speak to them or to end the relationship. If I don’t end the relationship and she won’t voluntarily speak to them, they are saying they will contact her by phone or in person until she does speak to them. This seems completely unfair on her and will cause her distress. As she has no kids I don’t see the ‘safeguarding’ argument. It seems more that they want to make sure she know for moral reasons. I’m not sure they have the power to disclose just because they think someone deserves to know. Any advice would be welcome.

It seems to me that you could always just let it play out. After all, she can just tell them you've told her and that she wants no further contact with them. If she's aware of what they've said to you, that should show her it's beyond your control, but you're not going to end the relationship. They can't punish you for her attitude and response.

=========================================================================================================

If you are to punish a man retributively you must injure him. If you are to reform him you must improve him. And men are not improved by injuries. (George Bernard Shaw)

JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 1K, Visits: 1.6K
AdamS - 6 Jan 20 11:33 AM
I wonder if anyone has experience of a similar situation to that that I am currently in. In 2017 Police investigated me for something that I didn’t do and was not later charged with. However, during that investigation they found 4 Category C indecent images on my laptop. They had been deleted a year or so before. I’m in the start of a new relationship (4 weeks and 2 dates in) and my partner knows about my conviction and SHPO. Police and Probation want to talk to her to confirm that she is aware. She does NOT have children. I told her they want to speak to her and she refuses to speak to them. They now won’t take my word that she knows, and have given me a week to either convince her to speak to them or to end the relationship. If I don’t end the relationship and she won’t voluntarily speak to them, they are saying they will contact her by phone or in person until she does speak to them. This seems completely unfair on her and will cause her distress. As she has no kids I don’t see the ‘safeguarding’ argument. It seems more that they want to make sure she know for moral reasons. I’m not sure they have the power to disclose just because they think someone deserves to know. Any advice would be welcome.

Hi
In the end how do you feel about the relationship which seems to be a fledgling one. In the wider family circle is their children?
She has told you were she stands so if they wish to contact her then her response to the intrusion of her privacy and rights could be more devastating than her words to them. 
I do not know her but she is possibly more worried about her family and friends finding out about your past and the effect that would have on her; especially as it is only a 'fledgling' relationship.
To protect herself she could tell her friends she ended it because of the offence then what would you do if you mingle in similar social circles.
I quoted a similar scenario whilst on licence and discussing the subject of disclosure and now to PPU. They always replied by silence or by the public protection statement.

In the end you protect yourself. As AB2014 says - let it ride and see what happens or as I would do, write to the PPU i.e. email and keep a copy, explain again her circumstances - no children, what you have said to her and her response. Then ask for their guidance and reasons they feel the disclosure is necessary given her circumstances i.e. do they want you end the relationship because of her rights to privacy? State this is so you can understand and so comply to their protection policies.

All PPU's handle situations differently and they are applying pressure on you. Once children become involved then you will also have social services involved. This unfortunately means this will not be end of the subject.
Be strong, believe in yourself and understand and act appropriately with any relationship. 



Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
GO


Similar Topics


As a small but national charity, we rely on charitable grants and individual donations to continue running theForum. We do not deliver government services. By being independent, we are able to respond to the needs of the people with convictions. Help us keep theForum going.

Donate Online

Login
Existing Account
Email Address:


Password:


Select a Forum....
























































































































































































theForum


Search