theForum is run by the charity Unlock. We do not actively moderate, monitor or edit contributions but we may intervene and take any action as we think necessary. Further details can be found in our terms of use. If you have any concerns over the contents on our site, please either register those concerns using the report-a-post button or email us at forum@unlock.org.uk.


Parents details


Parents details

Author
Message
JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 1.1K, Visits: 1.7K
Was - 15 Mar 23 3:06 PM
JASB - 14 Mar 23 4:51 PM
One PPU officer got Social Services to contact the cousin of my then partner as she had a son. Long story short I complained that they had no right as I never stayed in their house for long, they knew of my offence, but especially the only SOPO condition about "communicating" was for females. I got a sort of apology! 

We took a sibling decision to not inform my Mother. 6 years later she still doesn't know. 

My sister with my youngest niece was contacted by social services. She told them I'd told her and that if they ever tried to interfere with my relationship with my niece that she would take them to court and sue them. She never heard from them again. 

My ex-gf saw an online newspaper article the same day as my sentence and called my best friend who I'd not told yet. My friend as never spoken to me again. Ironically my ex was quite supportive.

I guess what I'm saying is that every case and individual is different. Don't feel bullied into telling people you legally don't have to.

Hi
I can agree with your comments as at times "the hardest decission to make is the correct one!"

My ex (pre offence we divoiced) with slight reservations i.e. her family and friends were not to find out, has supported me generously.

Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 1.1K, Visits: 1.7K
Was - 15 Mar 23 3:06 PM
JASB - 14 Mar 23 4:51 PM
One PPU officer got Social Services to contact the cousin of my then partner as she had a son. Long story short I complained that they had no right as I never stayed in their house for long, they knew of my offence, but especially the only SOPO condition about "communicating" was for females. I got a sort of apology! 

We took a sibling decision to not inform my Mother. 6 years later she still doesn't know. 

My sister with my youngest niece was contacted by social services. She told them I'd told her and that if they ever tried to interfere with my relationship with my niece that she would take them to court and sue them. She never heard from them again. 

My ex-gf saw an online newspaper article the same day as my sentence and called my best friend who I'd not told yet. My friend as never spoken to me again. Ironically my ex was quite supportive.

I guess what I'm saying is that every case and individual is different. Don't feel bullied into telling people you legally don't have to.

Hi
I have always informed my PPU that I will only declare to those I have to. One job interviewer (who I had pre-interview) informed I had something to say to him priviately, told me not to raise the subject. I informed by PO at the time of that and he insisted I did else he would call them if I got the role.
After a great interview, my declaration I was just asked why I declared after being told not to and that an offer would not me made becuase of it.

My ex-wife knew a week before my sentencing and beside the obvious reservations; i.e. her friends and family were not to know, she has supported me 100%

At times "the hardest decision to take is the correct one no matter the consequences."

Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

david123
david123
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)Supreme Being (3.1K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 22, Visits: 2K
Was - 15 Mar 23 3:06 PM
JASB - 14 Mar 23 4:51 PM
One PPU officer got Social Services to contact the cousin of my then partner as she had a son. Long story short I complained that they had no right as I never stayed in their house for long, they knew of my offence, but especially the only SOPO condition about "communicating" was for females. I got a sort of apology! 

We took a sibling decision to not inform my Mother. 6 years later she still doesn't know. 

My sister with my youngest niece was contacted by social services. She told them I'd told her and that if they ever tried to interfere with my relationship with my niece that she would take them to court and sue them. She never heard from them again. 

My ex-gf saw an online newspaper article the same day as my sentence and called my best friend who I'd not told yet. My friend as never spoken to me again. Ironically my ex was quite supportive.

I guess what I'm saying is that every case and individual is different. Don't feel bullied into telling people you legally don't have to.

The best thing that happened after the shit hit the fan is i found out who my TRUE friends were the ones who stood by me and the ones who walked away., As far as I am concerned the ones who walked away are dead to me now as friends and i want nothing to do with them. Seven years on I don't miss the so called friends I lost     
Was
Was
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 298, Visits: 3.7K
JASB - 14 Mar 23 4:51 PM
One PPU officer got Social Services to contact the cousin of my then partner as she had a son. Long story short I complained that they had no right as I never stayed in their house for long, they knew of my offence, but especially the only SOPO condition about "communicating" was for females. I got a sort of apology! 

We took a sibling decision to not inform my Mother. 6 years later she still doesn't know. 

My sister with my youngest niece was contacted by social services. She told them I'd told her and that if they ever tried to interfere with my relationship with my niece that she would take them to court and sue them. She never heard from them again. 

My ex-gf saw an online newspaper article the same day as my sentence and called my best friend who I'd not told yet. My friend as never spoken to me again. Ironically my ex was quite supportive.

I guess what I'm saying is that every case and individual is different. Don't feel bullied into telling people you legally don't have to.
JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)Supreme Being (151K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 1.1K, Visits: 1.7K
Hi
I appreciate your concerns and historically and recently when they were completing their reply to my SOPO discharge application they asked about my children's and immediate family details. Saying that I have only told them the details of those I am still in contact with. Any others  who have disassociated themselves from me are never asked for again.

One PPU officer got Social Services to contact the cousin of my then partner as she had a son. Long story short I complained that they had no right as I never stayed in their house for long, they knew of my offence, but especially the only SOPO condition about "communicating" was for females. I got a sort of apology! 

Saying that if you remove your concerns they could be just wanting to understand your "support network" which in ways is positive.

In the end your parents will find out as secrets generally do get disclosed so I would advise YOU to controll the situation and have an honest chat with your parents. You may be surprised and find they do support you; besides clipping you around the ear that is.

If they do not wish to support you then believe me knowing and moving on is far the best outcome all round.

I hope you make the right decission

Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

Richie
Richie
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 47, Visits: 328
Lineofduty - 7 Mar 23 11:38 AM
Mo22 - 6 Mar 23 8:11 PM
Yes I will see them once in a while. There is no children. They said just for their records. I told the previous officer no and they said they would have to check my phone and ring the numbers to find out who they are then. It was left at that but Now the new officer asking again saying because I’m in contact with them.

As others have said, you are not obliged to give them any details. It is simply their oppressive way of "gathering intelligence" (even the innocuous questions are for a reason!).  The College of Policing clearly states that they can ask questions about your lifestyle but the offender does NOT have to answer.  So you can quote this if you wish.
The CoP also states that they cannot disclose details of your offence to ANY third party without you have disclosed it first (and in any case they need a LAWFUL policing purpose to proceed anyway). In my case, after the initial visit my (now removed) PPU officer accessed the PNC to find my niece AND where she worked and called her there out of the blue.  Not only had my brother not had chance to explain things to her, I'd had no contact with her (or her boys) for around 10 years. Simply abuse of power, deceitful and inappropriate. Of course for the next 4 years the same officer denied making the phone call when asking why i and my family might be angry with her and the police.  
You couldn't make it up....

Just be very considered about what you tell them and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.

I agree you need to be considered about what you tell them and they do abuse their power and try and find out information about you.

I once had a visit and at the time just had a dumb phone. The PPU picked it up off the table and started going through my text messages. I thought about saying something but everyone in there were people who knew about my offence it was just family and my probation officer and a fair few texts offering me deals on Pizza. She spent ages looking at it even though she wasn't entitled to actually look at it. They will do anything to try and find something on you.





Lineofduty
Lineofduty
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)Supreme Being (3.7K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 69, Visits: 345
Mo22 - 6 Mar 23 8:11 PM
Yes I will see them once in a while. There is no children. They said just for their records. I told the previous officer no and they said they would have to check my phone and ring the numbers to find out who they are then. It was left at that but Now the new officer asking again saying because I’m in contact with them.

As others have said, you are not obliged to give them any details. It is simply their oppressive way of "gathering intelligence" (even the innocuous questions are for a reason!).  The College of Policing clearly states that they can ask questions about your lifestyle but the offender does NOT have to answer.  So you can quote this if you wish.
The CoP also states that they cannot disclose details of your offence to ANY third party without you have disclosed it first (and in any case they need a LAWFUL policing purpose to proceed anyway). In my case, after the initial visit my (now removed) PPU officer accessed the PNC to find my niece AND where she worked and called her there out of the blue.  Not only had my brother not had chance to explain things to her, I'd had no contact with her (or her boys) for around 10 years. Simply abuse of power, deceitful and inappropriate. Of course for the next 4 years the same officer denied making the phone call when asking why i and my family might be angry with her and the police.  
You couldn't make it up....

Just be very considered about what you tell them and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
xDanx
xDanx
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 365, Visits: 11K
Mo22 - 6 Mar 23 8:11 PM
Yes I will see them once in a while. There is no children. They said just for their records. I told the previous officer no and they said they would have to check my phone and ring the numbers to find out who they are then. It was left at that but Now the new officer asking again saying because I’m in contact with them.

If you are willing to share the offense and if you have a SHPO, list out what the restrictions are. We will have a better understanding of the circumstances and our opinions on how to proceed.

When I get visited the PPU sometimes goes through my phone and I notice he makes notes when going through my whatsapp. I am unable to see what is written but I do not believe it was the numbers of those I am in contact with. He asks me who they are, where they are from, full names. All of which I do not answer on the fact I was requested not to. I explained that the majority I speak to know of my offense already and I am under no obligation to provide details. I have no issues but I imagine they will score my risk higher due to non compliance.

Edit: I checked previous posts and you already stated it was an image offense non contact and have listed out your SHPO conditions here https://forum.unlock.org.uk/FindPost33202.aspx
I would seriously consider putting in an application to amend the order.


Edited
Last Year by xDanx
Richie
Richie
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)Supreme Being (5.3K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 47, Visits: 328
Mo22 - 6 Mar 23 8:11 PM
Yes I will see them once in a while. There is no children. They said just for their records. I told the previous officer no and they said they would have to check my phone and ring the numbers to find out who they are then. It was left at that but Now the new officer asking again saying because I’m in contact with them.

It doesn't sound right not once have they asked me about any relatives and never asked for my parent details.

There is nothing in law which requires you to give them any information about your parents. Unless you have a SHPO which allows them to check your phone you don't need to show your phone to them or give access to it. 

I would stand my ground and not give them information that they can use against you. 
Mo22
Mo22
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 35, Visits: 273
Yes I will see them once in a while. There is no children. They said just for their records. I told the previous officer no and they said they would have to check my phone and ring the numbers to find out who they are then. It was left at that but Now the new officer asking again saying because I’m in contact with them.
Mr W
Mr W
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)Supreme Being (62K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 467, Visits: 5.6K
Hi Mo, I wouldn't worry too much because even if they do get contact details, they can't do whatever they like with them.
If this is an issue around disclosure, they may politely ask you to disclose when *they think* it is necessary to do so. You're well within your rights to say no. (Do have a think about if there are any situations which may prove tricky, you don't want to inadvertently find yourself committing another offence.)
If you say no and they still think disclosure is necessary then there is a protocol they must follow, usually involving a senior officer/MAPPA, before contact is made against your wishes. Ask them to provide something in writing if it gets this far.
I don't know exact details of your circumstance, usually this comes up not long after conviction and gets complicated with court orders like SHPOs, but seek legal advice if you're in any doubt.

=====
Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.
punter99
punter99
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)Supreme Being (95K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 769, Visits: 5.7K
I'm guessing that you sometimes go to visit your parents, in which case the police might want to know if there are another children there, who are under sixteen. 
If there are, then they might want you to disclose, but if not then you do not have to. 
xDanx
xDanx
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)Supreme Being (40K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 365, Visits: 11K
Mo22 - 6 Mar 23 11:52 AM
Hi my parents are not aware of my offence and want to keep that way. The police keep asking for their details for their records???? I’m a grown man and live alone why do they want their details for?

I do not recall what your offense was or if you have ever mentioned it, regardless of the offense Police will do anything to gather information. So they can do "risk assessments" most likely and perhaps get a better background on yourself. It is likely they will want to disclose your offense not only to protect them and other family members, but to also protect you by not breaking any restrictions you may have in place.

That being said, given this is your parents. You may not wish to inform them of the offense in case they no longer want contact with you, sooner or later Police will find ways of getting their information and it will be much harder maintaining relationships with family if they find out through other means.

Police will always use your conviction / offense to gather information on other people you are in contact with, I feel this is wrong because normally for any officer to gather details would be when suspected of committing a crime. So in my opinion, you are under no obligation to give information or details of friends or family. Again, this is just my opinion and I would always seek legal advice to confirm.

Mo22
Mo22
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)Supreme Being (5.5K reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 35, Visits: 273
Hi my parents are not aware of my offence and want to keep that way. The police keep asking for their details for their records???? I’m a grown man and live alone why do they want their details for?
GO


Similar Topics


As a small but national charity, we rely on charitable grants and individual donations to continue running theForum. We do not deliver government services. By being independent, we are able to respond to the needs of the people with convictions. Help us keep theForum going.

Donate Online

Login
Existing Account
Email Address:


Password:


Select a Forum....
























































































































































































theForum


Search