Hi James,

Im going through a simillar situation and with a similar conviction. 

Its hard. There's no two ways about it. My sister hasn't spoken to my for 3 years and my relationship with my brother and parents is strained. I was lucky with my conviction in that there was no publicity and I was able to keep my job, which has kept me focussed. I have definitely regressed socially now though, i'm a completely different person and much more reclusive. There are good friends from before conviction that I stay away from now because of the family element. 

At the time of my conviction in 2012 it all seemed like it was never going to end, 2 years probation, 6 month course, 5 year SOPO and 7 years on the SOR felt like it was never going to pass, but its almost passed now. My SOPO finish at the end of this month and my conviction is spent accordingly. Ive been accepted for a new job because I can now say I have no unspent convictions. I met a woman on a dating site, who Ive told about my conviction and she's been understanding and supportive. Ive been through it and I feel im now coming out the other side. 

It is a life changing event but you CAN still live an enjoyable life. How long have you got left on the conviction?

Hope youre enjoying the weekend.

Hi James, I can relate to this myself. My offence was years ago now and at the time I couldn't see anyway forward for me. In fact losing my wife, family, friends and job was by far the worst, more so than actually going to prison. Prison did in a way put me with some people to help me through the darkest times but at the other end of it now I have managed to find a really great partner and I have a small business to get me through. It hasn't been easy and there have been times when I didn't want to carry on but here I am.
I never imagined being where I am today, my partner sort of found me and knew about my past from when it happened, My small business? never thought I would be doing what I am (so completely different to before, polar opposite in fact). My point to all this is you can`t foresee whats coming, you have to wait and see it may be something good. 
Yes there will be problems, but you learn to steer a better course to minimise the negatives, I have found a lot of the "problems" where in truth in my head
 ( thats just my personal situation not aimed at anyone else). My register requirements arn`t really an issue for me now. I have adapted I dont over duly worry about them and manage to have some good times so hang on in there.
You do say you worry about being invited to events but at least you are optimistic and say you may be invited to some. have you discussed it with you O,M, ? I did when it was early days and she didn't have much of an issue as long as I "kept myself safe" if you know what I mean. Going to a pub or event isnt the same as going to someones house.
Belated birthday wishes by the way. I hope it gets better for you soon. C.....

well ive had a nitemare that never ends never did any prison but got my life destroyed permanent 3years probation finished conviction spent 2nhalf years ago but , but 7years ago when this happened there was a paper articule saying the pervert should be locked up and its still on the net today , so no prison but life sentence is how i feel the google team refused to remove this articule because of public interest middle of last year grrrr its wrong stinks 

well ive had a nitemare that never ends never did any prison but got my life destroyed permanent 3years probation finished conviction spent 2nhalf years ago but , but 7years ago when this happened there was a paper articule saying the pervert should be locked up and its still on the net today , so no prison but life sentence is how i feel the google team refused to remove this articule because of public interest middle of last year grrrr its wrong stinks 

Sorry for not getting back but its been a difficult few months. Its interesting how varied SHPOs are...

I've been in hospital twice, and i'm having to move as I have no other way of changing offender manager.

Hi james, feel free to have a rant here... Sometimes it helps just to get things off your chest.

Moving because of your OM is a bit extreme, what's the situation? I can understand moving for work or a new scenery etc but it doesn't necessarily mean your new OM will be any better, I never found my OM particular helpfully, "some" PPO or RPO as their now known have been better but I've certainly come across my fair share of "those" who would rather you under lock and key. Don't let them get the better of you, prove them wrong.

SHPO's are an odd thing, I've read so many odd tales from different sources. I was lucky as they tried to give me a ridiculous over-the-top SOPO that would befit a genocide dictator and even the judge told the CPS they were being stupid (or at least that's my take on it, HA). 

Hi guys need your advice, my OM came round the other day and I told him I was playing football (usually once a week) at pitches which belong to a school. He said he'd have to disclose my conviction to the school unless I told my friend who I play with? I play at the school at out of school hours- 9pm. And my offence did not involve children. Surely he's not allowed to do this? I really don't want him talking to my friend about my conviction. This just seems so wrong and it's getting me down already. What should I do? I thought he'd need to do a risk assessment first before making a disclosure? Your opinions on this would be much appreciated.

Hi James,

I'm sorry to hear that, I truly hope you can find strength not to end up back in hospital anytime soon.

I think there are complaint avenues you can go down if your OM is doing something wrong in a professional capacity but proving that is another matter, in all honesty it will probably end with some kind of rebuttal on you for fighting the system etc. My advice, however unpleasant it might be would be to play the game, they have a job to do which essentially means ticking a box so nod and agree and let them have there moment of morar superiority. I found with my OM that the moment he was done with me he'd forgotten my name and was busy with the next merry-go-round. 

You would like to think the objective was to help you but it's really just to 'help" you not reoffend, nothing more. I was once told you have to help yourself, only you can fix yourself, only you can make yourself happy etc. It's probably true which is why it's so difficult.