Hello,

I have been visiting this site less and less because things in my life have been going pretty well. Good friends, good job (proper profession and well paid) and generally positive. Mental health issues are much better, and I rarely have night terrors now. I would even say my PTSD is minimal. Things do get better.

I changed my name and moved away - if you can, these are steps I would recommend to everyone.

My issue right now is something I didn't expect. After the allegation and conviction I protected myself and decided I wouldn't date or look for love. I have met people for casual relationships, but 'love' was strictly off the table. Well, just over a month ago I met someone and he is awesome - I have fallen for him and it is so damn inconvenient. He is nothing at all like what I believed my type to be. I know if things keep going the way they are I am going to have to tell him everything but it is terrifying me. I've not felt this way about anyone in a very long time. 

The thing that worries me is that we have a similar social group - a couple know about my conviction but most don't. So if things go badly my whole world could turn upside down again. Arggghhhhhh.

I think a major issue I have is with the allegation and conviction. If i could just say I done it and regret it. It is because of X, Y and Z - it would be easier. But saying I didn't do it and wasn't there causes so many questions. I've been through it a few times before, and it is an awful discussion to have.

There is no real point to this post, just needed to release this.