Good morning Dragonfly4
Welcome to the group, first of all please don’t be sorry, you have got a lot off your chest, and as difficult as the situation is this can be the best place to do this, and the best place for advice and support.
You both are at the beginning of what could be a very long process.
I would hope that your solicitor is offering you guidance on the process and what he feels could happen with the CPS, if he is not doing this i would strongly recommend that you find legal representation with a firm that has a history or working with people accused of historic sex offences. The fact he was 12 at the time and a minor himself then i would hope the CPS look at this properly.
Untill they make a decision you are both going to be very much in limbo as it could go many ways.
Until he is found guilty of an offence i would strongly recommend that he does not tell any one outside the immediate family, (a need to know basis)
As to if it will be all over the papers, the fact that the two people involved where children at the time, i would hope that this is not the case, as were is the public interest.
From a worst case point of views if there is information published then you have two options
Yes he could change his name by deed poll. The other option, but there is no guarantee that this would work is apply to google to have the article removed.https://hub.unlock.org.uk/knowledgebase/counteracting-negative-google-entries/
The next few links might be worth both you reading, you need to read these as the worst case if he was to be charged. There is a lot of information to take in and you will have questions, and if so then ask them on here and we can help.https://hub.unlock.org.uk/knowledgebase/information-sex-offence-notification-requirements/https://hub.unlock.org.uk/knowledgebase/sexual-harm-prevention-order-shpo/https://hub.unlock.org.uk/knowledgebase/information-relationships-children-dealing-social-services/
As a worst case if he is found guilty, depending on his sentence will depend on what he has to do and what agencies will be involved in your lives over time.
Other thing you both need to consider https://hub.unlock.org.uk/knowledgebase/a-simple-guide-to-the-roa/
On a worst case if this does become public, you will soon know who your true friends are, this offence has to be taken into context, both involved were young children at the time.
You will see a lot of scare stories out there, especially on face book and around the vigilantism groups out there, all i can say is ignore it, the place to get the advice is a place like this, by people that have been through the system as an ex offender with a sex offence.
In 13 yrs since I pleaded guilty to a non contact sex offence was image based offence and was sentenced to three years, I have not been attacked, or had my house vandalised.
As I said the pair of you are on a long road with no end in sight, it is going to be tough on you both, but there will be light the other side of the tunnel.
If you are feeling suicidal then you have the Samaritans you can call,
It is important that you both realise you are not alone in this.
I hope some of this helps you both, you will have questions i know it, so please ask them here in this safe space.