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Mamacita
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I am a qualified nurse who was visited by the PPO and given a disclosure about my partners offences, which he has served his sentence for. This is a very complex situation as I have all the legal documents which state that my partner is a low risk to the community and has a low risk of reoffending, but is a medium risk to children. I dont have any children under 18. The PPO have basically threatened to inform my employer if I carry on in a relationship with him. My question is that this is my private life. I'm not a risk or an offender. Can the PPO inform my employer? My partner is not my patient. Im absolutely devastated by the intrusion. 
khafka
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Yup. At least in Scotland they can, I imagine it'd be the same elsewhere in the UK.

Only certain job roles would your employer be advised, such as a teacher, nurse, doctor, social care. Basically anywhere he could get potentially have access to children and/or vulnerable people is how it was all worded to me. If you worked as a shelf-stacker in Tesco for example it'd be unlikely they'd need to inform them.

To me, it is utter crap as there is no logic or data backing up the reasoning but such is a life of a sex offender. It is just another reason why a lot don't tend to get into relationships after being convicted. Why should someone else unrelated to the offence have their life invaded like this?

AB2014
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khafka - 3 Dec 20 11:43 AM
Yup. At least in Scotland they can, I imagine it'd be the same elsewhere in the UK.

Only certain job roles would your employer be advised, such as a teacher, nurse, doctor, social care. Basically anywhere he could get potentially have access to children and/or vulnerable people is how it was all worded to me. If you worked as a shelf-stacker in Tesco for example it'd be unlikely they'd need to inform them.

To me, it is utter crap as there is no logic or data backing up the reasoning but such is a life of a sex offender. It is just another reason why a lot don't tend to get into relationships after being convicted. Why should someone else unrelated to the offence have their life invaded like this?

Unfortunately, being a nurse means you are in what used to be called a "notifiable occupation". Since 2017, the police in England, Wales and Northern Ireland have the right to disclose to employers in circumstances like yours. As khafka said, there are similar arrangement in Scotland. I'm sure we all realise that neither you nor your partner would never pose a threat to children or anyone else, but that's not how the system sees it.

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Robert Lightfoot, former head of NASA, said it succinctly in his parting speech in April 2018: Protecting against risk and being safe are not the same thing ... [W]e must move from risk management to risk leadership. From a risk management perspective, the safest place to be is on the ground. From a risk leadership perspective, I believe thats the worst place [we] can be.

JASB
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Mamacita - 3 Dec 20 11:38 AM
I am a qualified nurse who was visited by the PPO and given a disclosure about my partners offences, which he has served his sentence for. This is a very complex situation as I have all the legal documents which state that my partner is a low risk to the community and has a low risk of reoffending, but is a medium risk to children. I dont have any children under 18. The PPO have basically threatened to inform my employer if I carry on in a relationship with him. My question is that this is my private life. I'm not a risk or an offender. Can the PPO inform my employer? My partner is not my patient. Im absolutely devastated by the intrusion. 

Hi

As AB2014 quite rightly said, they have the right.
First I must applaud your acceptance of your partners past and willingness to maintain a relationship.
 
Please remember at this difficult moment there is no advantage in allowing your emotions to focus about the right or wrongs of this else you will dissolve into a person of resentment. 

The only advice I can offer is that you must be open, not only to your employers but I would suggest also to yourself about your future with your partner. I am sorry for saying that but from my own experience I found answering that delicate question allowed me to move forward whilst protecting those individuals my offence none intentionally affected. In my case it was my sister who worked in such a role that disclosure was required. 
To clarify she informed her employers about my offence and also informed them that though she still wished to support me, and that there was no association between us that would affect her employment responsibilities. They accepted her words and supported her through the obvious emotional and stress that followed in the media.

I decided for her that she should take those actions as I did not wish her to become a further "victim" and so punished by a society etc that condemns though not aware of the true facts or scenario of the offence.

It is a hard decision you have to make; but you must as they may be many more times this choice will have to be made. Only you know the strength of your relationships be they personal and professional; you have the evidence so consider that wisely.

Best advice I was given was 
The right decision is the hardest option to you.
I just wished I had considered that when I made the choice to offend.



Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
Mamacita
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JASB - 3 Dec 20 1:06 PM
Mamacita - 3 Dec 20 11:38 AM
I am a qualified nurse who was visited by the PPO and given a disclosure about my partners offences, which he has served his sentence for. This is a very complex situation as I have all the legal documents which state that my partner is a low risk to the community and has a low risk of reoffending, but is a medium risk to children. I dont have any children under 18. The PPO have basically threatened to inform my employer if I carry on in a relationship with him. My question is that this is my private life. I'm not a risk or an offender. Can the PPO inform my employer? My partner is not my patient. Im absolutely devastated by the intrusion. 

Hi

As AB2014 quite rightly said, they have the right.
First I must applaud your acceptance of your partners past and willingness to maintain a relationship.
 
Please remember at this difficult moment there is no advantage in allowing your emotions to focus about the right or wrongs of this else you will dissolve into a person of resentment. 

The only advice I can offer is that you must be open, not only to your employers but I would suggest also to yourself about your future with your partner. I am sorry for saying that but from my own experience I found answering that delicate question allowed me to move forward whilst protecting those individuals my offence none intentionally affected. In my case it was my sister who worked in such a role that disclosure was required. 
To clarify she informed her employers about my offence and also informed them that though she still wished to support me, and that there was no association between us that would affect her employment responsibilities. They accepted her words and supported her through the obvious emotional and stress that followed in the media.

I decided for her that she should take those actions as I did not wish her to become a further "victim" and so punished by a society etc that condemns though not aware of the true facts or scenario of the offence.

It is a hard decision you have to make; but you must as they may be many more times this choice will have to be made. Only you know the strength of your relationships be they personal and professional; you have the evidence so consider that wisely.

Best advice I was given was 
The right decision is the hardest option to you.
I just wished I had considered that when I made the choice to offend.


Wow, very informative answers. Thankyou.
If a man has no hope, he has nothing left to fight for and that makes me feel very sad. On one hand, I have to consider myself and protect my future and by doing that, I'm taking away some bodies hope and future. And on my other hand, if I stay, I could potentially risk my career that I have worked very hard to achieve.
I know what I have to do, but I will have to live with taking some bodies hope away, which will stay on my conscience for a very long time.
Mamacita
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khafka - 3 Dec 20 11:43 AM
Yup. At least in Scotland they can, I imagine it'd be the same elsewhere in the UK.

Only certain job roles would your employer be advised, such as a teacher, nurse, doctor, social care. Basically anywhere he could get potentially have access to children and/or vulnerable people is how it was all worded to me. If you worked as a shelf-stacker in Tesco for example it'd be unlikely they'd need to inform them.

To me, it is utter crap as there is no logic or data backing up the reasoning but such is a life of a sex offender. It is just another reason why a lot don't tend to get into relationships after being convicted. Why should someone else unrelated to the offence have their life invaded like this?

Well, it's a very sad state of affairs, because I dont think he knew the implications this could potentially have on my life. I'm trying to explain to him about the severity, and it's no easy task. I do not understand why  an unrelated offence committed by someone else should impact on my private life. It's not fair.
JASB
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Mamacita - 3 Dec 20 1:36 PM
JASB - 3 Dec 20 1:06 PM
Mamacita - 3 Dec 20 11:38 AM
I am a qualified nurse who was visited by the PPO and given a disclosure about my partners offences, which he has served his sentence for. This is a very complex situation as I have all the legal documents which state that my partner is a low risk to the community and has a low risk of reoffending, but is a medium risk to children. I dont have any children under 18. The PPO have basically threatened to inform my employer if I carry on in a relationship with him. My question is that this is my private life. I'm not a risk or an offender. Can the PPO inform my employer? My partner is not my patient. Im absolutely devastated by the intrusion. 

Hi

As AB2014 quite rightly said, they have the right.
First I must applaud your acceptance of your partners past and willingness to maintain a relationship.
 
Please remember at this difficult moment there is no advantage in allowing your emotions to focus about the right or wrongs of this else you will dissolve into a person of resentment. 

The only advice I can offer is that you must be open, not only to your employers but I would suggest also to yourself about your future with your partner. I am sorry for saying that but from my own experience I found answering that delicate question allowed me to move forward whilst protecting those individuals my offence none intentionally affected. In my case it was my sister who worked in such a role that disclosure was required. 
To clarify she informed her employers about my offence and also informed them that though she still wished to support me, and that there was no association between us that would affect her employment responsibilities. They accepted her words and supported her through the obvious emotional and stress that followed in the media.

I decided for her that she should take those actions as I did not wish her to become a further "victim" and so punished by a society etc that condemns though not aware of the true facts or scenario of the offence.

It is a hard decision you have to make; but you must as they may be many more times this choice will have to be made. Only you know the strength of your relationships be they personal and professional; you have the evidence so consider that wisely.

Best advice I was given was 
The right decision is the hardest option to you.
I just wished I had considered that when I made the choice to offend.


Wow, very informative answers. Thankyou.
If a man has no hope, he has nothing left to fight for and that makes me feel very sad. On one hand, I have to consider myself and protect my future and by doing that, I'm taking away some bodies hope and future. And on my other hand, if I stay, I could potentially risk my career that I have worked very hard to achieve.
I know what I have to do, but I will have to live with taking some bodies hope away, which will stay on my conscience for a very long time.

Hi
First, I would suggest in this case their hope is not your responsibility or in other words your "prime concern". As I tell my mother, if she worries herself to death then she will not be here, which increases the victim impact on me, and more importantly I have denied her an ending to a life that should be one of content in knowing she tried her best and cannot control my decisions.
There are time when giving your quality and ambitions / desires away are praiseworthy e.g. in a life or death scenario. This is not one of those.
Ask him what he would do if the situation was reversed, but be wary of an his answer because the possible reply may lean to his emotions of loss, self pity etc. I do not know him but my words are aimed at trying to ensure you consider yourself first.

Think, you may say you will stay with him and have a great life. Then he has an affair, decides he wants something else you don't. It could be anything that after everything you have given up for him would do untold emotional damage to you. What would you do/think then? Could you handle that? A person says they will always be good, but even the best of us makes mistakes.
You may part but stay friends not partners, then the disclosure situation changes. His journey and the barriers he will face can only be taken by him. You can still give support at a distance,   

Life is full of changes and emotions but we humans are barely qualified to understand never mind handle all that they throw at us. You sound like you have so much to give, and others will be listening and hoping they will receive your focus. You will already of passed so much onto your partner but maybe the old "adage" - You can say goodbye more easily if you love a person than if you do not. Simply because you can be honest to them - is true.



Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
JASB
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Mamacita - 3 Dec 20 4:25 PM
khafka - 3 Dec 20 11:43 AM
Yup. At least in Scotland they can, I imagine it'd be the same elsewhere in the UK.

Only certain job roles would your employer be advised, such as a teacher, nurse, doctor, social care. Basically anywhere he could get potentially have access to children and/or vulnerable people is how it was all worded to me. If you worked as a shelf-stacker in Tesco for example it'd be unlikely they'd need to inform them.

To me, it is utter crap as there is no logic or data backing up the reasoning but such is a life of a sex offender. It is just another reason why a lot don't tend to get into relationships after being convicted. Why should someone else unrelated to the offence have their life invaded like this?

Well, it's a very sad state of affairs, because I dont think he knew the implications this could potentially have on my life. I'm trying to explain to him about the severity, and it's no easy task. I do not understand why  an unrelated offence committed by someone else should impact on my private life. It's not fair.

Hi
Me again. Look at the offence from the eyes of the victim(s), those protecting societies most vulnerable, to understand what they are trying to achieve. Also they are protecting themselves from any possibility of society criticizing them.
How do they know if your partner would not pressure you into something- the risk is there because of past offences show it is. That is not a silly concept as it has happened and been reported on in the media.

Saying "It's not fair" is emotional and I believe your current scenario is making you say them. Remember laws are generalised and not individual circumstances based as they are not founded on emotions; it is up to those they give guidance to or interputate them to decide how to enforce them that make them emotional.
Do not be angry at those enforcing the rules, instead see if they can be challenged and you would take that stand publically; if you are able to view them in a non-emotional perceptive.
Many laws on their creation serve the purpose of their design and are praised. It is those that manipulate them to meet their aims allow them to be criticised  





Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
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I'm not going to get into details but some of my friends have made what for them were clearly tough decisions which I respect. Others have been complete ****ers.

I guess all I'm saying is that there is no "correct" decision you can make, only what you think is best for you at the time. It may turn out to be not the right one, or absolutely justified. No-one else can do that for you.

You only owe yourself.
JASB
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Was - 4 Dec 20 8:34 PM
I'm not going to get into details but some of my friends have made what for them were clearly tough decisions which I respect. Others have been complete ****ers.

I guess all I'm saying is that there is no "correct" decision you can make, only what you think is best for you at the time. It may turn out to be not the right one, or absolutely justified. No-one else can do that for you.

You only owe yourself.

Agree,

It is not selfish to think of one's wellbeing first or as I have previously said but in different words 
How are you be able to care for others if you have not cared for yourself and so lack the wellbeing you are trying to ensure others have?


Mr W is correct so I am sorry my words sound harsh, but I have made the decision that as the offender, my mistakes should not remove the hopes, ambitions or prospects of another, no matter the pain.
Whatever your decision, be brave in making it, do it for honest and personal reasons that you know you can live with as be it "stay" or "go" it will change your life.


Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
GO


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