Afternoon.

After speaking with my ex/wife today,
She has had an email from social saying there is no requirement for any social contact intervention and the contact will be closed.
They where first contacted by my sons school before the police had chance to contaxt them and it says in the email this is from the contact from the school, would this mean the case involving the police with them is also closed(at least until any conviction i guess)?

Its just confusing as the social worker was only saying i should only have 1 day a week contact at most 'just incase something else came up'.
If this is the case then why are they allowed to work independently using their own ideas to goven something then withing 2 weeks they decide (as a group/meeting) to close the case.

Anyone had anything similar?

Regards
Kraken

Hi
To add to my last I am afraid as far as life going forward it does not get earlier with the SS.

A couple of years back I managed to discharge my SOPO but still on the SOR and now at the 14 year point. Ive always been classed as Low Risk, hardly any visits over the years, and never been required to undertake a sex offenders course.

All sounds good you think.

Earlier this year I had a annual visit and actually told they did not ant to visit me anymore; with caveats of course. that is if I take a lie detector test. I refused as I do not trust these tests and also on the principle that I offered to take one at my arrest and they refused.

Coming to the point of your scenario, I was then told they have to contact SS as my Son has now a child. No matter my concerns they said this is policy. I therefore asked:

 "as you have concerns because I am not in a relationship, mainly due to that at my age they will will have children / grandchildren and would have to declare to the various parents. Can you tell me why you do not understand why I do not think I wish to burden a person(s) with my mistake.

As someone else mentioned, in this age of blame and accusations we are an easy target as society beliefs do not praise us in the same manner they do "drug dealers or those of a violent behavior"!




Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
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This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

Morning

I understand this will not be the end of their involvement. 
It was just frustrating my childs mother was told to massively restrict my contact with my son but then 2/3 weeks later they close the case.
Im not going to go against my bail conditions still, its hard and 3 months in i still have moments of thinking oh i could do this or that with my son, then it comes crashing down and back to reality that no, no i cant.
It was just a surprise that one moment getting told they advise one thing to then dismiss it all(for now).
Still have a long long way before this does come to the next stage, just happy they have backed off for now, there is and wont be any reason for their involvement until im charged.
I agree with you on relationships, i wouldnt get into a relationship with anyone else now due to causing any issues for others, but why that goes against someone is beyond me, i know people do end up with a good relationship eventually but especially while you have to disclose the matter it is not worth the trouble for the people you will love.

Regards

Kraken

Hi
Never believe you are alone or will always will do so.
Not having a "partner" does not mean you will be a recluse as you will restructure your "life" in a manner that protects yourself.

I'm not sure if you will move or change your name etc but sometimes the "quality" you can gain is beneficial. Yes it can take a while to organize and hurdles to overcome; but a quality of life is important.

Eventually you may meet someone that eventually you feel you can disclose to and they will not react badly. If you do then enjoy that time but do not rush into creating scenarios that will not have the outcome you wish for.

Good luck especially in believing you can have a positive life.

Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

Hi
I hope things are improving for you.
Re reading the above It came back to mind a couple of gents I met when I was in Whatton; mid 20's/50's. Both their wives were adamant they were "supporting" their husbands. Both told me that the Police and SS when meeting with them - wives - were encouraged to "dump" the partners.
When the response was "NO", they did receive negative remarks etc.

In my mind any "partner" who stands by a "SO" should be supported not only by society.

I hope you are strong for yours.

Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

Hi JASB.
Ive read a lot of comments regarding SS pressuring partners to end any relationship,  also a lot of their ideals are personal to the officer and not the organisation as i have seen in dealings with my son, his mother and my sisters.
They felt it important enough to contact 1 pf my sisters initially about my arrest and forgot about the other, but then told the other that things theor side are closed (im to stick to my bail conditions) but didnt notify the other that they first told about my arrest. 
Just not looking forward to when the police are done with their investigation and things start again with SS

Regards 
Kraken 

Hi
Sorry for my slow reply but life's duties seem to have made the days fly past.

I'm not sure what stage in the process you are at now but I hope your family has stayed strong besides you.

Face those that are aggressive towards you with humility but with self belief. Most are trying to protect themselves from blame; however there are some who simply put, should not be undertaking this role. Unfortunately SO's cannot be classed as being discriminated against.

Keep strong in your mind and self belief that you will not commit an offence again, but aware you have committed an offence.



Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
------------------------------

This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.

so a little update as I've been away from here for a while.

my bail came to an end as the police had to apply to the courts and they refused to extend any bail, i ask my ex/wife to contact SS as she was the one who they contacted originally, i feel this was a mistake and should really listen to what is been said to me, when the police office called he said its good news as we would not take any action for you seeing/having your son, i asked if he was going to let SS know or if i should and he said he is not going to inform them and that they would not arrest me for having my son with me unsupervised.
now the SS want me to carry on as tho my bail conditions are still ongoing and have again, closed the case with no further action.
she did ask me o call them once the police are done with their investigation no mater the outcome (depending on the outcome i will be seeking further legal advise)the whole process this time with SS felt like they couldn't really be bothered and just set limitations (well what they advised) because if something where to happen they can say, well we said this bla bla bla.
a couple of things i had to get straight with them, as she never had contact from the police so assumed i couldn't be unsupervised with under 18 when it was 16, saying my ex/wife wanted me to have more contact with our son but kind of twisted it into a way that it was a concern, this was more a feeling on the way things was said rather than what was said.
i had a conference call with SS, ex/wife, school and healthcare women thing, was told if ok she would call me the next day, 4 weeks later she called me and was unhappy i couldn't answer due to working (we did have a time she would call 4 weeks ago due to work)  as she was closing the case.

anyway just a bit of what happened with SS wth myself.

Regards
Kraken

In my early years of being released from prison I had a lot of dealings with SS. Some of my thoughts on this.

If SS have closed the case with no further action then any request they have such as continuing to follow bail conditions when you are no longer on bail is advice only, they can not legally enforce this and if you and your ex wife agree to ignore this and allow contact then that is something you can both decide on. However if they find out that contact is made they can take further action and put in more legally binding plans and even court action if they feel your child is at risk.

What SS do is twist everything that they are told, they do almost anything to stop contact once you have been accused and committed of certain sexual offences. This is what they did with me and stopped almost all contact with my 2 children even though my partner, her family, my PPU and my family where all happy for contact to be allowed. The grounds for denying it were so flimsy and tied up in a non legally binding safety plan, rather than break that plan we put in official complaints with SS and it took almost 9 months but they eventually allowed access. It was telling in the last complaint hearing I had the manager in charge of the case refused to attend the mediation hearing and they had to draft another manager in who after 15 minutes of discussion reversed a lot of the silly decisions made in the safety plan.