Many of us here can relate to being questioned all the time, so completely understand the frustration and relentless pressure that talking about the past can bring.
I think what you've raised is a very deep topic and one that is surprisingly not talked about considering how many people go through the same thing. So I want to be careful but honest in my response because I very much doubt you're alone in what you're going through.
It's important to note that those close to us are probably in a healing process after the shock of what's happened. Our actions have brought a load of stuff to their doorstep which they didn't want in their life. Equally, they might be hurting too knowing that you're unhappy but perhaps feeling helpless that they can't make everything okay for you. Separately, I'm not saying it's the case here, but they might think they've failed as a parent which they might have trouble coming to terms with. So perhaps he's not asking 'why did you do it' he's subconsciously asking 'is it because of something I did or didn't do?' and, unfortunately, the answer, at least partially
, is probably yes. So, what do you do? You could get angry back and have arguments that go nowhere and use each other as proverbial punching bags - not recommended - or... work on trying to salvage the relationship and try your best to transcend the tragedy.
On a simpler level, People, particularly older generations, often get angry about stuff they don't understand eg "all this new fangled internetty stuff". Unhelpfully, Instead of trying to understand it they can lash out and/or not listen anyway. So, for example, no matter how many times you explain to an older person why you follow a certain person on Instagram, they just don't get it. However, they can tell you verse and chapter on Royal Family, who is married/divorced/kids they have/dramas/who is in line to the throne/grand parents/great grandparents etc etc etc. So even if you do explain it to them, they can't make the connection that it's the same thing but instead of reading newspapers, it's on an app on our phones. Slightly off-topic but I hope that makes some sort of sense.
I try to avoid conversations with those close to me about offending. Nobody comes away from those conversations going: "That was a really good conversation and I'm really happy."
I'm not saying don't talk about it ever because we're all in a healing process. So, if you can, talk about the past with those who are "separate", probation, counselors, talking therapies etc. situations where it might be helpful to talk about it.
If it does come up with those close to you, calmly redirect the conversation elsewhere or talk about the progress and positive steps
you've taken and as time goes on there will be more and more new things to talk about. Good luck.
Fighting or Accepting - its difficult to know which is right and when.