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Hey there,
Welcome, we're happy to have you here. You'll find most of the regular users here are for images and/or sexual offences so there's absolutely no judgment here and we also know what you're going through as we've all been in your position.
You haven't mentioned if the police have actually found anything or if you've been charged but given the rest of your post where you appear to own up to it I'm going to assume if they haven't found anything yet they potentially will. I won't sugar coat it, the early stages are grim and uncomfortable to go through.
I remember getting my discovery and going through it with my solicitor and I was cringing and wincing all the way through it, it was almost like it wasn't actually me I was looking at, I couldn't believe it. Very weird feeling. But that for me was easily one of the hardest things of the whole situation was coming face-to-face with it. Saying "Oh yeah I did it" is one thing but actually seeing the file names and stuff made me super uncomfortable.
The waiting around also sucks, from arrest to sentence I was about a year almost to the day.
While the investigation was on going for me I just carried on with my life and kept it to myself and tried to for as long as possible then eventually when I pleaded guilty I was reported about in a local paper which then hit my work and needless to say I was let go pretty promptly. I would've honestly suggested this tactic as with you stepping down from your role you'll not be eligible for Universal Credit/income support as you made the choice to leave so unless you are secure financially I think this will be a struggle for you. My solicitor helped me wipe out my savings with their fees so I'm now left with debt after having to get a loan to help pay for more costs.
Now, as for getting through it - Luckily I found this forum (back before it had a little wobble and stopped working) which helped. It was great to have someone who had experienced what I was going through, even just as a means to vent about everything that's going on. I also took a dive into some new hobbies, one of which I'm getting pretty decent at if I don't say so myself.
My biggest advice for now is to not let yourself rot away, keep yourself tidy, your home tidy, all of that - bathing regularly and all that. I don't want to jump to conclusions but I'm going to assume you're male based on the high percentage of these sorts of offences being carried out by males - So that means if you have a beard, keep it trim like you normally would. Or clean shaven. Or if you fancy it, actually try grow a beard, see how you get on! That can also be a way to help you transition a bit - I completely changed how I looked when it all crashed for me and I feel much better for it, it was almost like 'killing' the old version of me.
Letting yourself and your home slowly rot away will create nothing but further negativity in your life and that's the last thing you need right now. Might I also suggest getting a house plant? That can help give you a sense of purpose again and gives you something to care for and take your mind off things a bit. It sounds super stupid but it did a world of good for me. Otherwise you're just sitting around worrying which will not solve anything or produce any positive results. Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
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