theForum is run by the charity Unlock. We do not actively moderate, monitor or edit contributions but we may intervene and take any action as we think necessary. Further details can be found in our terms of use. If you have any concerns over the contents on our site, please either register those concerns using the report-a-post button or email us at forum@unlock.org.uk.


Supervised visits


Supervised visits

Author
Message
JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 1K, Visits: 1.6K
Armantha - 16 Apr 24 5:09 PM
Hi Update , I've had the children in need report back after chasing it four times and it being 3 weeks late .The teams meeting was as positive as it could be , however the report does not reflect this .It also has many inaccuracies and untruthful comments Some of which I can prove on previous emails / documents Is it worth challenging it or would I be wasting my time

Hi
Thank you for your previous words.
Can I suggest the following but also advise you to remove any and all emotions / frustrations from your mind whilst working on this.

First: if you list the different errors, then match the documentation up to each of their errors you have a starting point.
Anything you do not have documentation for then I would suggest you just put it to one side.

Second: I would write a "case" for each error separately and double check your facts; if you have someone you trust get them to read to ensure it makes sense and things like the spelling and grammar is correct.

Once you are happy with your "evidence" write a polite letter referring to their report and the errors you have noticed and ask for a meeting to discuss and present your evidence to them. At this stage I would not provide them with the evidence as - being cynical - it would give them more time to finding support for their report.!!

In my experience unless you have the "facts" that they should also have, then if will be a hard task to change anything. You have to patenice, self belief and remember others may see things in a different perspective to you.

Remember "heresay" is just that so is easily dismissed, and used against you as not knowing the true facts or they consentrate on those elements as a distraction from the "facts" you have presented and do not wish to talk about.

99% of my discussions have eventually succeeded by having factual information, being respectful in my lanugage and knowledgable of all the aspects by looking at the "error" from their perspective and possible agenda.

Sometimes the truth is only the perspective that is seen by an individual and there are many perspectives to a single event




Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
Armantha
Armantha
Forum Guru
Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 6, Visits: 38
Hi
Update , I've had the children in need report back after chasing it four times and it being 3 weeks late .
The teams meeting was as positive as it could be , however the report does not reflect this .
It also has many inaccuracies and untruthful comments
Some of which I can prove on previous emails / documents
Is it worth challenging it or would I be wasting my time

Armantha
Armantha
Forum Guru
Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 6, Visits: 38
JASB - 23 Mar 24 1:10 PM
Armantha - 23 Mar 24 10:57 AM
Hi all
Last June I was arrested and charged with sharing a cat c video on an app . I was placed in custody , sent to court the next day and pleaded guilty due to the fact the police told me I had shared it and my solicitor told me to.I have no recollection of it due to my shameful abuse of alcohol after the breakdown of my marriage and losing my home and children shortly before the incident .The police ceased all my devices but never returned with any other concerns .A year down the line and social services have carried out the child in need plan . They have concluded there are no issues but will place a caveat on recommended supervision . This is going to reduce the time with my children . Also at this time I am currently divorcing my wife who is no cooperating well. Question is can I do anything to challenge the caveat . I am frustrated there has been no assessment on me as a father only on alcohol which I have completed a programme with probation with no concerns . These kids are my reason for living
Dad

Hi

I am sure all of us feel for you my friend and do not take anything I say as anything but to suggest the path I would follow to show your acceptance of your error and  repentance.

If we set the base line for social services as "over cautious" and "self protective" I would suggest that you should build your "evidence" that you are not a "concern" first, as any Court will favor them initially.

By this I mean; and on the assumption there is no Police supervision, build your rapport with the Social Services by working and welcoming their involvement in your interaction with your children. Yes this will be an intrusion and added pressure will be placed on you but just put that down to your "punishment".

I would refrain suggesting that being "drunk" or "wife leaving you" was the reason for your error. This is simply because any supervisor would remain cautious that the next time you drink or row with the ex you will do it again. I would suggest you focus your langauge to anyone as "understanding you behaved wrongly and trying to understand why under stress you behaved that way?"
In other words your focusing on improving your life going forward by understanding your past! 


Not now, but eventually acquire letters of support from others; especially those with children, as this would be included in your request to the Court.
Hopefully, your "EX" will become friendly again and ask her to write a supportive letter; also if your children are of an appropriate age, them as well.

You possibly have a journey ahead of you that will not be straight forward but do not despair. Only you are the solution to making this a happy journey as in the end you may find that not only the clause is removed, but you are a better person in many ways.

Everyone is here to be by your side but only you can control and lead you along the path. Believe in yourself!

Thanks. You for your reply and the solid advise .


JASB
JASB
Supreme Being
Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)Supreme Being (99K reputation)

Group: Awaiting Activation
Posts: 1K, Visits: 1.6K
Armantha - 23 Mar 24 10:57 AM
Hi all
Last June I was arrested and charged with sharing a cat c video on an app . I was placed in custody , sent to court the next day and pleaded guilty due to the fact the police told me I had shared it and my solicitor told me to.I have no recollection of it due to my shameful abuse of alcohol after the breakdown of my marriage and losing my home and children shortly before the incident .The police ceased all my devices but never returned with any other concerns .A year down the line and social services have carried out the child in need plan . They have concluded there are no issues but will place a caveat on recommended supervision . This is going to reduce the time with my children . Also at this time I am currently divorcing my wife who is no cooperating well. Question is can I do anything to challenge the caveat . I am frustrated there has been no assessment on me as a father only on alcohol which I have completed a programme with probation with no concerns . These kids are my reason for living
Dad

Hi

I am sure all of us feel for you my friend and do not take anything I say as anything but to suggest the path I would follow to show your acceptance of your error and  repentance.

If we set the base line for social services as "over cautious" and "self protective" I would suggest that you should build your "evidence" that you are not a "concern" first, as any Court will favor them initially.

By this I mean; and on the assumption there is no Police supervision, build your rapport with the Social Services by working and welcoming their involvement in your interaction with your children. Yes this will be an intrusion and added pressure will be placed on you but just put that down to your "punishment".

I would refrain suggesting that being "drunk" or "wife leaving you" was the reason for your error. This is simply because any supervisor would remain cautious that the next time you drink or row with the ex you will do it again. I would suggest you focus your langauge to anyone as "understanding you behaved wrongly and trying to understand why under stress you behaved that way?"
In other words your focusing on improving your life going forward by understanding your past! 


Not now, but eventually acquire letters of support from others; especially those with children, as this would be included in your request to the Court.
Hopefully, your "EX" will become friendly again and ask her to write a supportive letter; also if your children are of an appropriate age, them as well.

You possibly have a journey ahead of you that will not be straight forward but do not despair. Only you are the solution to making this a happy journey as in the end you may find that not only the clause is removed, but you are a better person in many ways.

Everyone is here to be by your side but only you can control and lead you along the path. Believe in yourself!


Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.
Armantha
Armantha
Forum Guru
Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)Forum Guru (74 reputation)

Group: Forum Members
Posts: 6, Visits: 38
Hi all
Last June I was arrested and charged with sharing a cat c video on an app . I was placed in custody , sent to court the next day and pleaded guilty due to the fact the police told me I had shared it and my solicitor told me to.I have no recollection of it due to my shameful abuse of alcohol after the breakdown of my marriage and losing my home and children shortly before the incident .The police ceased all my devices but never returned with any other concerns .A year down the line and social services have carried out the child in need plan . They have concluded there are no issues but will place a caveat on recommended supervision . This is going to reduce the time with my children . Also at this time I am currently divorcing my wife who is no cooperating well. Question is can I do anything to challenge the caveat . I am frustrated there has been no assessment on me as a father only on alcohol which I have completed a programme with probation with no concerns . These kids are my reason for living
Dad
GO


Similar Topics


As a small but national charity, we rely on charitable grants and individual donations to continue running theForum. We do not deliver government services. By being independent, we are able to respond to the needs of the people with convictions. Help us keep theForum going.

Donate Online

Login
Existing Account
Email Address:


Password:


Select a Forum....
























































































































































































theForum


Search