+xHi was hoping for some advice please i have posted before regarding my conviction of sharing a cat c image last year Though my marriage had already broken down and we was living separately at the time of the offence ,my wife was always supportive and was until I have applied for divorce.However now I have done so she is using the offence as a weapon mentioning frequently and what I deem as threats to let it out even posting on social media indirect comments about it. i am struggling daily with the anxiety of it coming out and worried about the impact on my small children and that I will lose my Job if this happened . There is probably not a lot I can do to prevent this ,but I would like to know if anyone has had any experience in preparing for it or how to put it across to an employer if it did Thanks in advance Hi It is good you have reached out as that is really the first step in resolving any type of stress .I would also stress that in my experience any relationship changes when the word "divorce" appears in a discussion so do not think it is all down to your offence. As you have written, you have multi conflicts suddenly appearing but if I could suggest that the sudden change in attitude could be because they have been advised to behave this way; by their solicitor possibly? I'm not sure of your "assets" but possibly they are trying to use your offence to gain an upper hand when discussing who gets what! My ex and I agreed 100% on things prior to her discussing things with her solicitor so I know it is a possible strategic ploy used. Children: If not already and depending on their ages they may all ready be suffering due to social services, friends knowing about your offence etc so all you can do is allow them to decide their own path, support them and ensure they know "you are there for them always and no matter what!"
Employer: I thought that the odds on were that your employer already knew about your offence but that probably is wrong. Again if you feel it is all going to become an issue face it head on and get in front of it. By that I mean if you know 100% they will become aware then discuss it with them - but from a positive perspective not in a self denial manner. Have ready "facts" i.e. what actions you are taking not to repeat it, contact details of your OM / probation officer / / supervisor that could offer words of your good contact and repentance etc. So positive information. As I have said before you should only focus on what you can control, but be knowledgable about the things you do not. Do not second guess what others will say / do. Keep a diary of events so you are not reliant on a memory that is stressed and so could easily mix memories together. We on the forum are here to listen and offer support but you make the decisions.
Society suggests I must let go of all my expectations but I disagree, as whilst I have a voice, I have hope.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope. ------------------------------
This forum supports these words, thank you Unlock and your contributors.
|