Couple of words to hopefully get you to focus more on your well being and please do not think my words are meant in anyway but supportive.
I fully appreciate the emotional stress you have and are going through but to help yourself you it is time to "departmentalize" everything. Hopefully I can explain my analogy further.
First, unless you can find new evidence or something to support an appeal, try to "place" any thoughts that do not support your wellbeing in "archives". The reason for this is 2 fold (1) continually referring to it; or anything you have no control over, as the foremost issue is only causing you emotional harm, (2) You know where the information is stored so that it is there when new evidence is found or truly need to refer to it.random phone calls
Believe it or not they do not always expect you to be able to answer; this is because it allows them to ask questions i.e. why not? If you have a genuine reason then calmly explain it. For example if it is because you are sleeping off night shifts then just offer your shift pattern with the caveat that it can / does change. Offer a solution to their issue.
If you are somewhere that means you cannot have a conversation you can answer the call and explain where you are and can you call them back as it is not suitable to talk. Again offer a solution to THEIR issue.PROBATION stamp
Explain your mail is in a common access place so, to help protect you can they send it in a plain envelope? They will probably say no but, if you put it in writing then if anything arises from their postage method you have some sort of evidence of you raising your concern. In fact I suggest there is a requirement to retain a physical document paper trail on most correspondence; as they do.
There are many reason why people receive letters from the Probation so if asked, just have a constant, simple and reasonable explanation for the letter i.e. your considering volunteering with them. Anyway if your neighbours ask about a postage stamp then I would move lol.Upcoming visit
With the current social guidelines you do not know if it will not be canceled at the last moment but will not say now so to maintain pressure. In regard to the questions read and listen again to my first sentence and the following.
Eventually you will come to understand that part of their methodigy with ex-offenders is to maintain pressure to see how they react. Think back to how your reacted on arrest and at the interview when you saw your whole life going into turmoil. I believe most times they are trying to recreate that environment to see how you react. Remember in this modern society it is initially easier to write negatively and so support historical criminal data, than it is to challenge those beliefs and write positively that someone is rehabilitating. Risk management is not just looking at you but also societies opinion on the Government and its Justice System.
Finally and believe that I am not against you but offering support. All contributors and readers of Unlock know it is hard to accept that no matter the factors, when someone has committed an offence, it can be difficult to comprehend its full consequences for sometime. You are being punished for your actions not hers, the Police's or anyone else's. Also simply and bluntly put, unless you have it in writing i.e. Judge's sentencing comments, then there is no point quoting your opinions on what has been said by others. It only does you more emotional harm because it sounds as if you are trying to persuade others to believe you're innocent, when your own words say you are not. The Justice System sees this as "denial" and will not move past that until you change. My words from my last reply asked if you recognise the "victims" of your action. It took me sometime to fully accept that point in my offence; and I had proved with evidence that: I was lied to, blackmailed and didn't know I was braking the law. It made no difference as the actions I took were wrong.
You have support and guidance here in Unlock, but you must learn to be fully open with yourself to understand the support from others.
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope is for tomorrow else what is left if you remove a mans hope.